A/N: I’m going to go ahead and warn you that the rating on the chapters is going to go up because there is going to be drug-use. I do not own The Academy Is…, The Pink Spiders, Cobra Starship, or Sofapunch. This story is completely fictional.
It had been over two days since Jamie had heard anything from Andy. It had been three days since she slept. The crash was going to be spent traveling to their next tour spot. She had sent a dozen texts and left voice message. Jamie stopped just short of sounding desperate. Instead, now she checked her phone every ten minutes waiting for a response, but none came.
She didn’t hear anything from anyone else either. Most of her free time was spent with Eric, who didn’t catch on to her drug habit at all. Every couple of hours she was crawling back to Matt, tired and worn out, looking for a pick-me-up. Jamie didn’t want it to turn into addiction, but she couldn’t deny the sweet salvation that the pills offered her.
Eric would come and visit her when he had free time, and their friendship was finally getting back on track. Her friendships with Matt and Jon has also progressed, but she just pushed Bob away when he go to close for comfort for her.
It was really hot and Jamie was especially lonely, sitting behind the merch table by herself while The Pink Spiders were on stage. Matt always sent her updates from stage. In between songs he would take a picture of the crowd or say something like, “Just told everyone that if they spend over $50 in merch, you’d flash them.” But Jamie just desperately wanted to hear from Andy, not Matt.
Matt finally came back to the tent with a couple of beers in hand and greeted Jamie with a kiss on the cheek. He was followed closely by Bob and Jon, who Jamie left in charge as she turned her back to the fans with Matt.
“Here,” he said, “take these.”
Jamie pushed away his hand. “No, I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not. You’ve been fuckin’ gloomy and miserable these past few days. This will make you forget him. Or, just not care about him.”
“I doubt that,” she said as she took the pills in her hand. She didn’t want to forget him or not care about him. She wanted him.
She shallowed the pills and flashed Matt a fake smile. “Aw, that’s better, little razorblade.” Jamie turned back to the crowd and picked up right were she had left off.
*****
The sun was almost completely set, which meant the more famous bands would be playing, attracting most of the crowds to the stages, and not the tents. This gave Jamie, and her fellow merch sellers, a rest from the crowds and a head start on breaking the tents down.
Jamie was folding some of the shirts and organizing one of the boxes while the guys had already started partying. The deal was she would clean up and organize everything, then call them to take everything to the truck.
She turned around and there was a geeky looking guy standing at the table holding out a camera. “Can I take a picture with you?” he asked shyly.
“Uh, you know I’m not in the band right?”
“Yeah, I already got pictures with the, but I think it would be awesome to take a picture with Matt Friction’s girlfriend.”
Jamie couldn’t contain her laughter after he had said that, but when she realized he was embarrassed by it, so stopped. “Sorry, it’s just that I’m definitely NOT dating Matt.”
She felt someone’s arm reach past her and took the camera. The whole ordeal made her jump out of surprise.
“I’ll take the picture,” Matt said. She turned around and was nose-to-nose with Matt. She could help but to smile and laugh at the goofy look on his face.
“Oh, you can’t ‘aren’t a couple,’” the guy said using air quotes. “I won’t tell,” he finished with a corny wink that failed to charm either Matt or Jamie.
Jamie walked around the table and rested her arm on the guy’s shoulder casually. She put on a sly smile before Matt took the picture. The camera gave Jamie more courage then she usually had. She decided to really take a picture of guy could really talk about. After removing his glasses and ruffled up his dark hair a little bit, she knew he was ready. The guy smiled at her and Jamie winked at matt, then grabbed him playfully by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss, while Matt took a couple of pictures.
“Well, that was nice,” she said after she pulled away from him. Jamie grabbed the camera from Matt and handed back to the guy.
In awe of what had just happened, the guy held out a sharpie as a way to ask her for her autograph. Jamie took the sharpie, and after hesitating for a moment about where to sign, grabbed his arm and signed “Little Razorblade XX”. She handed the pen back and he walked away speechless.
Jamie waited until he was out of earshot before she deemed it safe to turn to Matt and say, “I don’t get it! I’m nowhere near famous!”
Matt shook his head. “It’s not about that. It’s the fact that he just got kissed by the most beautiful girl that he’ll ever have the courage enough to talk to. I honestly feel bad for his future girlfriend, because no one will amount to you in his book.”
*****
The Academy Is’ tent wasn’t far from The Pink Spider’s. They were one row over, facing in the same direction, so Andy made a point of being at the ten as much as possible that day. He could see through the space between the other tents and positioned a chair perfectly looking at Jamie, not that he was sitting much with all the fans wanting his autograph.
Andy opted to stay behind with Alexis and pack up the merch, instead of going to see Cobra Starship play. A flash of color caught his attention and he looked up to see Jamie wasn’t behind the Spider’s table, but instead posing for picture with a guy.
Just seeing her have fun got him down. Andy had gotten her text messages and calls, but ignored them. He kind of like to see her upset over losing him.
He watched as she ruffled the guys hair, take his glasses off, and then kiss him. Yeah, she’s really caught up on you, Andy he thought to himself.
It looked like she was enjoying herself, too. The kiss lasted long and he could tell that she was oblivious to everything going on around her, like the group of drunk jerks walk by and whistled at her.
Why am I so upset at other people kissing her and looking at her? We weren’t even that serious, he thought to himself again. It’s true, she had her trance over him, just as William had said earlier in the week.
The real killer was when she grabbed a pen and the guy’s arm and wrote some sort of message on him. Probably a phone number.
Andy didn’t care to see anymore, so he turned around and immersed himself in conversation with a small group of female fans that had gathered around. This was just the distraction that he needed. He grabbed a beer from their cooler, cracked it open, and started flirting shamelessly with a couple of the girls.
*****
It took awhile for Alexis to finish packing up, especially with a drunk, sloppy Andy getting in the way. Finally, she convinced him to go hang out with “someone, …PLEASE ANYONE besides me(!!!)” and watch as he stumbled off.
Matt had kept Jamie company the whole time she was cleaning up. Jamie could feel the drugs wearing off as she grew more tired by the minute. Matt called Job to come and help with the boxes, leaving Jamie to watch over the other merchandise.
Both guys grabbed a couple of boxes and started down the aisle toward the buses.
“Oh, shit, isn’t that Andy up there?” Jon nodded down the aisle and, sure enough, Andy was stumbling toward them with two girls on his arms.
“He’s headed right for Jamie, if she sees him like that, it’ll break her heart” Matt said as he turned around with Jon and walked back to the tent quickly. Matt pulled Jamie out of her seat behind the table and handed her the two boxes. “Here, take these. My back hurts. I’ll stay here. Oh, and you have to go that way” Matt pointed in the complete opposite directions from the buses, guiding her away from Andy.
“But the buses are…”Jamie started.
“Yeah, I know but it’s crowded down there.” Matt watched as Jon escorted Jamie most of the way down the aisle before Andy came up.
“Where’ssss Jamie?” Butcher asked drunkenly.
“Not here,” Matt responded. “What’s going on, Andy?” He waited for an answer but didn’t get one. “Why are you doing this? Jamie likes you and you’re breaking her heart.”
“I don’t care. I don’t care about her. She’s a slut anyway,” one of the girls that Andy was with laughed at this and Andy smiled down to her, pulled her close, and began to kiss her.
“Get out of here, man” Matt waved them away quickly and a minute later Jamie and Jon were back.
“It’s totally not crowded down there,” Jamie motioned down the aisle, slightly out of breath from carrying the heavy boxes. “You’re just lazy. Get up and help me.” She tried pulling Matt up, but he wouldn’t budge, so she took a sit on his lap. “Or, I could just text Bob to come and do the rest of the work.”
Jamie had finally organized the guys and got them to start cleaning up in her spot. She decided to sneak away and try to see Andy before the buses headed out for the night and through the next day. She texted Andy as a warning, but of course there was no answer. Whe she finally got to the bus, she expected at least someone sitting outside, but there was no one is sight, so she banged on the door until someone answered. It was Sisky.
“Hey Sisky, is Andy there?”
“No, he’s not. Well, he is, but he can’t see you.”
“Please, Sisky? You don’t even have to tell him it’s me.”
“Jamie, he can’t see you.”
She couldn’t hold back the tears. “I’ve lost everyone, Sisky. Everyone. If Butcher won’t see me, will you at least talk to me?”
Sisky sighed, looked a little uncomfortable, but decided to deny a crying girl. “We’re supposed to be hitting the road in a couple of minutes, but let’s hang out at the next tour spot.”
She thanked him, gave him a hug, and then headed back to the bus, wiping the tears as she went. The guys were all on there and ready to go. As soon as she boarded the bus, the driver closed the door, started the bus, and almost immediately began to move.
Jon and Bob were watching T.V. and Matt was by the bunks. The energy was dripping out of Jamie, but she grabbed Matt and pulled him to her.
“Sleep with me,” she said. Matt had a look of utter shock. “Nothing weird, I just want you to hold me. I need you to hold me,” she pleaded and got into the bunk, followed by Matt. The last thing Jamie remembered before closing her eyes was Matt wrapping his arms around her and pulled her close to him.
Showing posts with label Butcher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Butcher. Show all posts
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Nine
The walk back to the buses was awkward because no one would speak to Jamie. They were acting as if she did something horrible to all of them.
Jamie came up behind Andy and grabbed his hand as an attempt to bring them closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, hoping that everything would be alright. But he let go of her hand and brushed away her closeness, forcing her to lift her head.
She mentally admitted defeat and fell to the back of the group, where her only company was Matt and Bob. Jamie was relieved when Matt finally started to talk to her, even if it was about the haunting silence.
“How are you doing, baby?” he asked as he pulled her close by wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“Good, now that someone is finally talking to me.” She smiled up at him, noticing how blue his eyes really were.
Matt kissed the side of her head. “Good. Now, we seriously need to talk about your uniform for working. We got you a couple of presents, they’re back on the bus.”
When they finally arrived there, she saw what exactly he was talking about. They had bought her a couple of pairs of really short, black shorts and a some tight, brightly colored tank tops. All Jamie could think about was how these were clothes that she would have never have bought for herself, or even bothered to look at. She tried them on and they fit like a glove but as she examined herself in the mirror she couldn’t help but notice how much of a whore she looked like.
She pulled her unruly hair into a ponytail and rubbed dark make-up over her eyelids, despite the fact that she always thought she looked better in natural tone make-up. There was a familiar bottle on the sink that Jamie took a couple of pills out of. “Just to hold me over” she convinced herself. After she looked in the mirror a second time, she found someone she didn’t recognize starring back at her. She practically had given up her identity since this whole thing started.
Jamie opened the bathroom door and struck a pose for Jon, Bob, and Matt, who were sitting around the kitchen table.
“Jamie, you look hot!” Jon exclaimed.
“Yeah, almost perfect” Matt started, and finished his thought as he pulled the pony tail out of her hair. “Much better” he said as her blonde hair cascaded down to her mid-back.
Jamie tried to convey a look to him that said something, like “Are you serious? It’s nearly 100 degrees out there and it’s not even 9 am yet.” But when she spoke, all that came out of her mouth was “Whatever”, followed closely by “I’ll be right back”. She moved toward the front of the bus, but paused when she felt someone’s hand on her ass. Jamie turned around slowly on toes, and as she did, Bob’s hand traveled over her smooth legs to her inner theigh.
“Seriously, Bob?! Get off of me” she yelled and backed away.
“What?” he asked, “I figured I’d stake my claim before Andy breaks-up with you. First dibs.” He turned and looked for encouragement from his bandmates.
“One, Bob, Andy and I aren’t that serious. And two, never in your life time will I ever let you do that again.” She heard the guys laughing at Bob as she descended the stairs. Jamie walked right by the TAI bus, and the people sitting outside of it, they weren’t who she was looking for anyway.
Alexis broke Jamie out her trance when she stood to greet her. “Jamie,” Alexis said, waiting for Jamie to stop and respond.
“Oh, hey, Alexis! I didn’t even see you guys there.” Looking around she noticed Mike, Michael, Bill, and Alexcis standing out the bus. “How are you?”
“Andy is in the bus, if that’s who you’re looking for. Why are you dressed like that? You look like a hooker.” Jamie didn’t know what to say, she could only watch as Mike lightly elbowed Alexis in the side. In a hushed voice, as if she was trying to defend herself, Alexis continue, “Well, look at her, she does.”
“Uh…” Jamie didn’t know how to continue, and she was too distracted to notice Bill approaching her.
“I really like your hair down. It’s long,” he said as he grabbed a couple of strand of her hair. Jamie backed away, not wanted to piss off Alexis, but it was too late. Alexis stepped forward and raised her hand. Jamie closed her eyes and waited for the blow, but opened her eyes a couple of seconds later to see Alexis was only grabbed for Bill’s hand.
After deciding that she could deal with these people anymore, Jamie walked away, before anything else went wrong. She walked toward the SofaPunch bus. She heard Andy yell her name a couple of times, but didn’t acknowledge him. He deserved to be ignored after he ignored her that morning.
She boarded the SofaPunch bus and immediately regretted her decision. Jamie was regretted with silent stares and it made her feel self-conscience and uncomfortable. But she knew it was worth it in order to find the one person that could never stay mad at her for too long.
The curtain of Eric’s bottom bunk was partially open, so she didn’t feel back pulling the rest of it back and crawling in next to him, which interrupted his reading.
She nuzzled close to him, taking in his familiar scent. “Eeeeerrrriiiccccc,” she whined, “I miss you. Can we be best friends again?”
Eric put down his book. “Who’s mad at you now?”
“Andy. And Nate…and Sisky, probably Bob, definitely Alexis, I don’t know about Mike,” her voice trailed off, leaving time for Eric.
“You can’t just treat me the way that you did and then assume I forgive you automatically because you come over here wearing black booty shorts.” Jamie look up at Eric and pushed out her bottom lip in a pouty expression. “Butttt, you know that I’ll always love you and of course we’re still best friends.”
“I knew the booty shorts were a good idea.” Jamie responded.
*****
Andy hurried back into the bus to grab some shorts and his phone. He wanted to catch up with Jamie before she got too far away, especially because he didn’t know where she was going. He ran down the steps and looked in the direction she walked, but he could no longer see her.
“I don’t even know why you bother with her” Alexis spat.
Andy was too frustrated to respond to her. He felt someone walk up next to him and from the corner of his eye he saw that it was Bill. “Dude, she went that way” he said and pointed off into the distance.
Alexis rolled her eyes and pulled Bill toward her. “I don’t know why you’re going after her, Butcher. You deserve so much better. I mean, come on, did you even see what she was wearing?”
“No, I didn’t happen to she her outfit, Alexis, and I go after her because I like her! Is that okay with you? I’m tired of having everyone judge her and me, for liking her, but her behavior is just because of the bad influence, and I know she’s better then that.” Andy was about to walk away when he stopped himself, “And Alexis, you aren’t exactly in the best position to give relationship advice. You’re always trying to change Bill and you’re a bitch 90 percent of the time, I don’t know how he stands you. Jamie has done NOTHING wrong to you, so stop treating her this way.”
Andy stormed off, leaving his friends in awe of his behavior.
*****
Jamie and Eric had spent a couple of minutes sorting out their problems and issues when she checked her phone.
“Shit, I need to go” she said as she practically rolled out of the bunk because it was so low to the ground. SofaPunch had had to get a special bus to accomadate all of their members.
Eric walked her out of the bus and pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s good to have you back,” he said and heard her laugh a little, “you know I love you, forever. Call me later.” He had whispered the last part into her ear. She smiled and buried her face deeper into his shirt. She couldn’t get enough of the old familiar smell that brought back amazing memories of previous tours.
*****
Andy was approaching a bus with, what looked like, a couple standing next to it. The girl resembled Jamie, but Andy had convinced himself that she would never wear that outfit in public. He heard the guy whisper and then the girl pulled away from what looked like a pretty passionate hug.
“Okay, see ya later,” the girl said and Andy instantly recognized the voice to be Jamie’s. Then he remembered what Alexis had said about what she was wearing, and as mad as Andy was at Alexis, he couldn’t disagree. She looked hot, but it wasn’t her style at all. He was embarrassed by his stalker-like actions and childishly hid behind a bus.
“Oh, and Jamie?” The guy yelled after her and Andy watched as Jamie turned around to look at him again. “Your ass looks great in those shorts!”
“Whatever, Eric.”
Why did I ever ignore her Andy wondered to himself. She’s already back with her ex-boyfriend and she doesn’t care about me. How could she already be with someone else. I guess I really liked her more then she liked me and she doesn’t care about me. All of these thoughts rushed through Andy’s mind at the same him. It was then that he came to the conclusion that he didn’t need to see her anymore and he wasn’t going to put in the effort if she wasn’t.
Jamie came up behind Andy and grabbed his hand as an attempt to bring them closer. She rested her head on his shoulder, hoping that everything would be alright. But he let go of her hand and brushed away her closeness, forcing her to lift her head.
She mentally admitted defeat and fell to the back of the group, where her only company was Matt and Bob. Jamie was relieved when Matt finally started to talk to her, even if it was about the haunting silence.
“How are you doing, baby?” he asked as he pulled her close by wrapping an arm around her shoulder.
“Good, now that someone is finally talking to me.” She smiled up at him, noticing how blue his eyes really were.
Matt kissed the side of her head. “Good. Now, we seriously need to talk about your uniform for working. We got you a couple of presents, they’re back on the bus.”
When they finally arrived there, she saw what exactly he was talking about. They had bought her a couple of pairs of really short, black shorts and a some tight, brightly colored tank tops. All Jamie could think about was how these were clothes that she would have never have bought for herself, or even bothered to look at. She tried them on and they fit like a glove but as she examined herself in the mirror she couldn’t help but notice how much of a whore she looked like.
She pulled her unruly hair into a ponytail and rubbed dark make-up over her eyelids, despite the fact that she always thought she looked better in natural tone make-up. There was a familiar bottle on the sink that Jamie took a couple of pills out of. “Just to hold me over” she convinced herself. After she looked in the mirror a second time, she found someone she didn’t recognize starring back at her. She practically had given up her identity since this whole thing started.
Jamie opened the bathroom door and struck a pose for Jon, Bob, and Matt, who were sitting around the kitchen table.
“Jamie, you look hot!” Jon exclaimed.
“Yeah, almost perfect” Matt started, and finished his thought as he pulled the pony tail out of her hair. “Much better” he said as her blonde hair cascaded down to her mid-back.
Jamie tried to convey a look to him that said something, like “Are you serious? It’s nearly 100 degrees out there and it’s not even 9 am yet.” But when she spoke, all that came out of her mouth was “Whatever”, followed closely by “I’ll be right back”. She moved toward the front of the bus, but paused when she felt someone’s hand on her ass. Jamie turned around slowly on toes, and as she did, Bob’s hand traveled over her smooth legs to her inner theigh.
“Seriously, Bob?! Get off of me” she yelled and backed away.
“What?” he asked, “I figured I’d stake my claim before Andy breaks-up with you. First dibs.” He turned and looked for encouragement from his bandmates.
“One, Bob, Andy and I aren’t that serious. And two, never in your life time will I ever let you do that again.” She heard the guys laughing at Bob as she descended the stairs. Jamie walked right by the TAI bus, and the people sitting outside of it, they weren’t who she was looking for anyway.
Alexis broke Jamie out her trance when she stood to greet her. “Jamie,” Alexis said, waiting for Jamie to stop and respond.
“Oh, hey, Alexis! I didn’t even see you guys there.” Looking around she noticed Mike, Michael, Bill, and Alexcis standing out the bus. “How are you?”
“Andy is in the bus, if that’s who you’re looking for. Why are you dressed like that? You look like a hooker.” Jamie didn’t know what to say, she could only watch as Mike lightly elbowed Alexis in the side. In a hushed voice, as if she was trying to defend herself, Alexis continue, “Well, look at her, she does.”
“Uh…” Jamie didn’t know how to continue, and she was too distracted to notice Bill approaching her.
“I really like your hair down. It’s long,” he said as he grabbed a couple of strand of her hair. Jamie backed away, not wanted to piss off Alexis, but it was too late. Alexis stepped forward and raised her hand. Jamie closed her eyes and waited for the blow, but opened her eyes a couple of seconds later to see Alexis was only grabbed for Bill’s hand.
After deciding that she could deal with these people anymore, Jamie walked away, before anything else went wrong. She walked toward the SofaPunch bus. She heard Andy yell her name a couple of times, but didn’t acknowledge him. He deserved to be ignored after he ignored her that morning.
She boarded the SofaPunch bus and immediately regretted her decision. Jamie was regretted with silent stares and it made her feel self-conscience and uncomfortable. But she knew it was worth it in order to find the one person that could never stay mad at her for too long.
The curtain of Eric’s bottom bunk was partially open, so she didn’t feel back pulling the rest of it back and crawling in next to him, which interrupted his reading.
She nuzzled close to him, taking in his familiar scent. “Eeeeerrrriiiccccc,” she whined, “I miss you. Can we be best friends again?”
Eric put down his book. “Who’s mad at you now?”
“Andy. And Nate…and Sisky, probably Bob, definitely Alexis, I don’t know about Mike,” her voice trailed off, leaving time for Eric.
“You can’t just treat me the way that you did and then assume I forgive you automatically because you come over here wearing black booty shorts.” Jamie look up at Eric and pushed out her bottom lip in a pouty expression. “Butttt, you know that I’ll always love you and of course we’re still best friends.”
“I knew the booty shorts were a good idea.” Jamie responded.
*****
Andy hurried back into the bus to grab some shorts and his phone. He wanted to catch up with Jamie before she got too far away, especially because he didn’t know where she was going. He ran down the steps and looked in the direction she walked, but he could no longer see her.
“I don’t even know why you bother with her” Alexis spat.
Andy was too frustrated to respond to her. He felt someone walk up next to him and from the corner of his eye he saw that it was Bill. “Dude, she went that way” he said and pointed off into the distance.
Alexis rolled her eyes and pulled Bill toward her. “I don’t know why you’re going after her, Butcher. You deserve so much better. I mean, come on, did you even see what she was wearing?”
“No, I didn’t happen to she her outfit, Alexis, and I go after her because I like her! Is that okay with you? I’m tired of having everyone judge her and me, for liking her, but her behavior is just because of the bad influence, and I know she’s better then that.” Andy was about to walk away when he stopped himself, “And Alexis, you aren’t exactly in the best position to give relationship advice. You’re always trying to change Bill and you’re a bitch 90 percent of the time, I don’t know how he stands you. Jamie has done NOTHING wrong to you, so stop treating her this way.”
Andy stormed off, leaving his friends in awe of his behavior.
*****
Jamie and Eric had spent a couple of minutes sorting out their problems and issues when she checked her phone.
“Shit, I need to go” she said as she practically rolled out of the bunk because it was so low to the ground. SofaPunch had had to get a special bus to accomadate all of their members.
Eric walked her out of the bus and pulled her into a tight hug. “It’s good to have you back,” he said and heard her laugh a little, “you know I love you, forever. Call me later.” He had whispered the last part into her ear. She smiled and buried her face deeper into his shirt. She couldn’t get enough of the old familiar smell that brought back amazing memories of previous tours.
*****
Andy was approaching a bus with, what looked like, a couple standing next to it. The girl resembled Jamie, but Andy had convinced himself that she would never wear that outfit in public. He heard the guy whisper and then the girl pulled away from what looked like a pretty passionate hug.
“Okay, see ya later,” the girl said and Andy instantly recognized the voice to be Jamie’s. Then he remembered what Alexis had said about what she was wearing, and as mad as Andy was at Alexis, he couldn’t disagree. She looked hot, but it wasn’t her style at all. He was embarrassed by his stalker-like actions and childishly hid behind a bus.
“Oh, and Jamie?” The guy yelled after her and Andy watched as Jamie turned around to look at him again. “Your ass looks great in those shorts!”
“Whatever, Eric.”
Why did I ever ignore her Andy wondered to himself. She’s already back with her ex-boyfriend and she doesn’t care about me. How could she already be with someone else. I guess I really liked her more then she liked me and she doesn’t care about me. All of these thoughts rushed through Andy’s mind at the same him. It was then that he came to the conclusion that he didn’t need to see her anymore and he wasn’t going to put in the effort if she wasn’t.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Eight
Disclaimer: I DO NOT personally know any of these bands or people. I do OWN Jamie and Alexis. This story is COMPLETELY fiction.
Jamie woke up for a restless sleep to find Andy lying naked next to her. She watched for a few minutes as his chest rose and fell with his breathing, but her stomach started to rumble with hunger. Their cloths from the night before littered the floor and she listened for anyone awake on the bus, but heard nothing. She decided it was safe to slip out of bed soundlessly and put on her pair of shorts from the night before. Before she got her shirt over her head, Matt walked out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks.
“Oh god, Jamie, sorry. I didn’t know you would be naked. If I did, I wouldn’t have come out” he said as he covered his eyes and turned around. She finished pulling the shirt over her head and walked over to him. Her arms slide under his and she hugged him from the back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was awake” she said innocently.
“I haven’t been to sleep yet” he replied. By this point he had turned around in her arms and was holding her close. “Will Andy be up anytime soon?” he inquired.
“I don’t think so, I kept him pretty busy all night.” She smiled and Matt raised his eyebrows. He was going to push his way past her until she put her hand on his chest to stop him. “I wanted to give you something to repay you for all of the … you know. So, what’s your payment of choice?” she whispered seductively to him.
“Where is this coming from? What happened to only pleasing Andy? Did you guys get in a fight? I just made up with him.” His words were pleading, but his voice and body were urging her on
“I don’t need to just be tied down with one person. Andy and I aren’t what you would classify as a couple. Yeah, we like each other, but I like some other people too.”
Matt smiled, these were finally the words he wanted to hear. “You know they say if you have sex on Ecstasy, it’s so amazing that you can’t go back. Should we put it to the test?”
Jamie moved her hand and backed away when she heard rustling coming from her bunk. She ran to that bathroom and opened up the first bottle of pills she saw and took two of whatever was inside. She pushed her hair behind her ears and opened the door. Jamie reached her bunk just as Andy was pushing back the curtain to come out. She opened it first and greeted him with a kiss.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” she said in a tone that was a little too peppy for the morning. She could already feel the energy flowing through her veins. The thoughts of sleep that once plagued her mind were replaced by those of the upcoming day. The spaghetti strap and shorts she chose were perfectly suited for what was supposed to be the hottest day of the summer so far.
“Can you pass me my shorts?” he asked in a low voice.
“You mean these shorts?” Jamie asked as she picked up the bright red cloth on the floor. “It’ll cost you … one kiss.”
“Gladly” he said as he grabbed the shorts and paid his dues. Jamie couldn’t resist him, so she climbed up into the bunk and strattled his legs. She kissed him more passionately and felt him grow more excited under the sheets.
“Uh, we should go. I’m going to invite Matt and Nate. I’ll meet you outside.” She kissed his chin and left him alone in the bunk with his shorts. Jamie jumped out of the bunk and retrieved her cell phone on the table in the kitchen area. She scrolled through the numbers until she found Nate’s and dialed his phone. After a couple of rings the phone went to voicemail. “Hey, Nate…It’s Jamie. I know you’re probably not up this early. But if this call happens to wake you up, come by the bus because we’re going out to breakfast. So, hopefully, I’ll see you in a few!”
Jamie went into the bathroom to clean up and wash her face. Half way through putting on her make-up the door opened and in came Matt. “Oh, hey! Did you want to come out to breakfast with us?”
“Uh, yeah. I just need a little pick-me-up.” He pulled out a fresh needle. “Do you want to try some?”
“Of course not. That’s a horrible drug, I’ll never let myself get that far.” She watched as he lifted up his sleeve and flick the needle. “Don’t do it, Matt. Please.”
He stopped for a second and looked up into her sad eyes. Instead of comforting her, like that Matt she knew, he became anger at her plea. “I’ve only known you for a week and you’re trying to change me? I give you a place to stay when other people didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I gave you you’re first experience with drugs, and you loved it. And this is how you re-pay me?” At this point Jamie had tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry I actually considered you a friend” Jamie said as she reached for the door handle.
“Yeah, just run away to your little, annoying fuckin’ boyfriend. Just like the little slut you are. You couldn’t survive a week on tour without seducing every guy you say. You’re just a little worthless slut.”
She couldn’t take it anymore, Jamie turned around and slapped him on the face. And before she could stop him he was putting the needle into a visible vein in his arm. His eyes rolled back in pleasure and he sat on the closed toilet seat. Jamie opened the door and left him alone.
Jon was sitting on the couch, but immediately stood up when he saw Jamie’s tears. “What’s the matter?” he asked and pulled her into a hug.
“Nothing. Is Butcher still here?”
“No,” that word hurt almost as much as Matt’s did, “he went back to his bus to get his wallet. Did Matt say anything to you.”
“I’ve never heard anything so hurtful before in my life. I need to move out of here.”
“Listen, Jamie, I know what he said was hurtful, but he can’t control it. He has said some pretty horrible things to me in the past, but you have to forgive him. You came in between him and the drugs, and he was crashing. That’s the way you deal with it when you’re addicted to the most deadly drug on the face of the planet. He didn’t mean anything he said. He actually cares about you so much, more then you’ll ever know.”
Jamie had been so distracted by Jon that she didn’t realize that Matt was out of the bathroom. Jon let her go so she was forced for face Matt.
“Oh god, Jamie, I’m so sorry I said those things. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.” He approached her, but Jamie couldn’t find the words to forgive him just yet. His arms enveloped her in a hug, but she didn’t care enough to hug back. “Let me take you out to breakfast. But first I have something to take away the pain.”
*****
Matt had his arm around Jamie to help her walk. She didn’t necessarily like it, but she hadn’t really eaten in two days. They saw Mike, William, and Butcher exit the TAI bus and all of the sudden she felt someone’s hands creep up her side. Being extremely ticklish, she laughed and turned to face Nate, who had a huge smile on her face.
“How are you feeling this morning, sunshine?” he asked her.
“Better. I like my new nickname” she laughed.
“Sunshine, it’s because you light up my day” Nate said as he laughed at himself.
“Alright, Corny McGee. Sorry I woke you up, but I wanted to make up for last night.”
“Thanks, oh, hey, I have something for you from Gabe. Apparently he’s always checking this site called Fueled by Ramen secrets, or some shit like that, and we were on there together. I guess he wanted you to have it, for some…strange reason.” He took out a bunch of folded up paper in his pocket and gave it to her. Jamie was surprised to see 5 pages of pictures of her with different guys with comments written all over them. And out of 5 pages, only one came to her defense saying “Good for her. All the haters are just jealous because they want to be in her spot. Fueled By Ramen Groupie FTW”.
“Uh, thanks, I guess.”
“Don’t worry about those little sluty haters, baby” Matt said as he took the pages out of her hands and threw them in the trash.
Jamie rolled her eyes and pushed Matt’s arm away from her side. “I can walk by myself” she said, but a second later she tripped over her own feet and almost fell. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself and how ridiculous she looked. By this time the TAI guys were stand in front of them.
“Are you alright, Jamie? You tripped” William said.
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks!” she said back, but she was too excited to see Butcher to care about the fall. “So, I say if we walk that way, we’ll find a breakfast place” she said as she pointed into the distance.
“Do you know this for a fact?” Mike asked, laughing at her intuition.
“Well, I see a sign for a diner right there, sooooo, yeah.” They turned toward the gate and began to walk, when they heard shouting in the distance.
“WWWAAAIIITTT FORRRRR MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” They saw Sisky running behind them looking disheveled. “I LOVE BREAKFAST!!”
While they were walking, William pulled Jamie to that back so no one could hear their conversation. “Can I ask a favor from you, Jamie?”
“Of course, William. What do you need?”
“Okay, so you’re a girl. And I have a girlfriend. And I love Alexis more than anything in the world, but…” William paused to gather his thoughts, while Jamie thought to herself about how she didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “So, I was wondering if you would come with me to pick out an engagement ring for Alexis. You know what girls like, and I don’t, so I could really use the help.”
Relieved, Jamie agreed and they set it up for next week. By this time they were all at the diner, where the staff was struggling to fit seven people at one table in the narrow establishment. The familiar voices made a customer at the counter swivel around and greet them.
“Bob, what’s going on, man?” Matt greeted him, “Why don’t you join us for breakfast?” Bob agreed and introduced himself around to the group of people.
When the tables were finally sorted out Jamie took a seat next to Nate, and before Andy could make his way to the table, Sisky yelled “I CALL A SEAT NEXT TO JAMIE!!!” and sat in the chair on the other side of her.
“Sit across from me,” she said to Andy, “then I can spend the entire meal looking into your dreamy eyes.” Andy laughed, but agreed, sitting between William and Bob.
They ordered and broke off into their own conversations. Sisky and Jamie got to talking about tour, but she could hear everything that was going on at the table. She caught Bob’s gaze and he winked at her. Their drinks came to the table and before Jamie could even put her tea bag in the hot water, she felt a hand on her knee. She assumed it was Butcher, until realized that both of Andy’s hands were on the table. Jamie looked at the other candidates around the table, and when she reached Bob, he gave a knowing smile.
“I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back” Jamie said abruptly and got up from the table.
“God, look at that ass,” Bob said as she walked away. “She’s so fuckin’ hot and she doesn’t even know it.”
“Excuse me?” Andy asked furiously.
“Why does everyone love Jamie anyway? Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing girl, and she’s so nice, but she has all these guys under her spell.”
“I like her because she’s an awesome friend and fun to hang out with. I’ve only known her for like a week, but I feel like we’ve been friends forever.” Nate started, and the conversation moved around the table.
“She’s sexy, and nice, and she actually wants to be my friend, instead of just hook up with me all the time, like all the other girls we meet. She’s like a sweet break from reality” Sisky continued and then it moved to Mike.
“I don’t have a crush on her or anything, but I like her as a friends, she’s easy to get along with.”
Matt paused when it was his turn. “Well, I like her, but I would never want to be in a relationship with her. We’re more just friends.”
It was Bob’s turn next. “I would never be in a relationship with her, I just want to fuck her. She’s so sexy, and really sweet. I bet she looks killer naked. Is she any good in bed?” he asked Andy.
Andy decided to ignore him. “I just think she’s incredible. I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her.”
“But seriously guys. She has you all wrapped around her finger. Look at how she treats you guys. Matt and Bob, you take her in and let her sleep in your bus, she eats your food, all for free. And Nate, you’re such a good friend to her, but she doesn’t give you anything in return.” Nate looked down in shame, though he didn’t feel that way. He thought that Jamie was a good friend to him in return. “And Andy, do you see the way she treats you. It’s so on and off. And have you seen that way she treats her ex-boyfriends? That guy Eric…she doesn’t even talk to him anymore, she’s completely cut him out of her life. Don’t you think she’ll one day do the same thing to you?”
“William,” Mike started…
“Yes, Mike?”
“That was the most profound thing you’ve ever said.”
*****
The table was silent when Jamie returned. “What did I miss?” she asked as she took her seat.
“Nothing” Sisky said and looked down at his juice.
“Ohh-kayyyy” Jamie said and looked around the table. No one would meet her eyes.
The silence was interrupted by a cell phone ringing in William’s pocket. “Hello?” he answered. Everyone at the table could hear her voice practically screaming into the phone. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m eating breakfast at some little diner…Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you…Yes I know the people I’m with…No, I wouldn’t lie to you…Why would I go out with a huge bunch of people I didn’t know…Okay, I’ll talk to you later…love you too, bye.”
“Who was it?” Andy asked.
“Alexis. Sometimes I think she thinks I’m really dumb or something…”
Jamie woke up for a restless sleep to find Andy lying naked next to her. She watched for a few minutes as his chest rose and fell with his breathing, but her stomach started to rumble with hunger. Their cloths from the night before littered the floor and she listened for anyone awake on the bus, but heard nothing. She decided it was safe to slip out of bed soundlessly and put on her pair of shorts from the night before. Before she got her shirt over her head, Matt walked out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks.
“Oh god, Jamie, sorry. I didn’t know you would be naked. If I did, I wouldn’t have come out” he said as he covered his eyes and turned around. She finished pulling the shirt over her head and walked over to him. Her arms slide under his and she hugged him from the back.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was awake” she said innocently.
“I haven’t been to sleep yet” he replied. By this point he had turned around in her arms and was holding her close. “Will Andy be up anytime soon?” he inquired.
“I don’t think so, I kept him pretty busy all night.” She smiled and Matt raised his eyebrows. He was going to push his way past her until she put her hand on his chest to stop him. “I wanted to give you something to repay you for all of the … you know. So, what’s your payment of choice?” she whispered seductively to him.
“Where is this coming from? What happened to only pleasing Andy? Did you guys get in a fight? I just made up with him.” His words were pleading, but his voice and body were urging her on
“I don’t need to just be tied down with one person. Andy and I aren’t what you would classify as a couple. Yeah, we like each other, but I like some other people too.”
Matt smiled, these were finally the words he wanted to hear. “You know they say if you have sex on Ecstasy, it’s so amazing that you can’t go back. Should we put it to the test?”
Jamie moved her hand and backed away when she heard rustling coming from her bunk. She ran to that bathroom and opened up the first bottle of pills she saw and took two of whatever was inside. She pushed her hair behind her ears and opened the door. Jamie reached her bunk just as Andy was pushing back the curtain to come out. She opened it first and greeted him with a kiss.
“Let’s go out for breakfast,” she said in a tone that was a little too peppy for the morning. She could already feel the energy flowing through her veins. The thoughts of sleep that once plagued her mind were replaced by those of the upcoming day. The spaghetti strap and shorts she chose were perfectly suited for what was supposed to be the hottest day of the summer so far.
“Can you pass me my shorts?” he asked in a low voice.
“You mean these shorts?” Jamie asked as she picked up the bright red cloth on the floor. “It’ll cost you … one kiss.”
“Gladly” he said as he grabbed the shorts and paid his dues. Jamie couldn’t resist him, so she climbed up into the bunk and strattled his legs. She kissed him more passionately and felt him grow more excited under the sheets.
“Uh, we should go. I’m going to invite Matt and Nate. I’ll meet you outside.” She kissed his chin and left him alone in the bunk with his shorts. Jamie jumped out of the bunk and retrieved her cell phone on the table in the kitchen area. She scrolled through the numbers until she found Nate’s and dialed his phone. After a couple of rings the phone went to voicemail. “Hey, Nate…It’s Jamie. I know you’re probably not up this early. But if this call happens to wake you up, come by the bus because we’re going out to breakfast. So, hopefully, I’ll see you in a few!”
Jamie went into the bathroom to clean up and wash her face. Half way through putting on her make-up the door opened and in came Matt. “Oh, hey! Did you want to come out to breakfast with us?”
“Uh, yeah. I just need a little pick-me-up.” He pulled out a fresh needle. “Do you want to try some?”
“Of course not. That’s a horrible drug, I’ll never let myself get that far.” She watched as he lifted up his sleeve and flick the needle. “Don’t do it, Matt. Please.”
He stopped for a second and looked up into her sad eyes. Instead of comforting her, like that Matt she knew, he became anger at her plea. “I’ve only known you for a week and you’re trying to change me? I give you a place to stay when other people didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I gave you you’re first experience with drugs, and you loved it. And this is how you re-pay me?” At this point Jamie had tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m sorry I actually considered you a friend” Jamie said as she reached for the door handle.
“Yeah, just run away to your little, annoying fuckin’ boyfriend. Just like the little slut you are. You couldn’t survive a week on tour without seducing every guy you say. You’re just a little worthless slut.”
She couldn’t take it anymore, Jamie turned around and slapped him on the face. And before she could stop him he was putting the needle into a visible vein in his arm. His eyes rolled back in pleasure and he sat on the closed toilet seat. Jamie opened the door and left him alone.
Jon was sitting on the couch, but immediately stood up when he saw Jamie’s tears. “What’s the matter?” he asked and pulled her into a hug.
“Nothing. Is Butcher still here?”
“No,” that word hurt almost as much as Matt’s did, “he went back to his bus to get his wallet. Did Matt say anything to you.”
“I’ve never heard anything so hurtful before in my life. I need to move out of here.”
“Listen, Jamie, I know what he said was hurtful, but he can’t control it. He has said some pretty horrible things to me in the past, but you have to forgive him. You came in between him and the drugs, and he was crashing. That’s the way you deal with it when you’re addicted to the most deadly drug on the face of the planet. He didn’t mean anything he said. He actually cares about you so much, more then you’ll ever know.”
Jamie had been so distracted by Jon that she didn’t realize that Matt was out of the bathroom. Jon let her go so she was forced for face Matt.
“Oh god, Jamie, I’m so sorry I said those things. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.” He approached her, but Jamie couldn’t find the words to forgive him just yet. His arms enveloped her in a hug, but she didn’t care enough to hug back. “Let me take you out to breakfast. But first I have something to take away the pain.”
*****
Matt had his arm around Jamie to help her walk. She didn’t necessarily like it, but she hadn’t really eaten in two days. They saw Mike, William, and Butcher exit the TAI bus and all of the sudden she felt someone’s hands creep up her side. Being extremely ticklish, she laughed and turned to face Nate, who had a huge smile on her face.
“How are you feeling this morning, sunshine?” he asked her.
“Better. I like my new nickname” she laughed.
“Sunshine, it’s because you light up my day” Nate said as he laughed at himself.
“Alright, Corny McGee. Sorry I woke you up, but I wanted to make up for last night.”
“Thanks, oh, hey, I have something for you from Gabe. Apparently he’s always checking this site called Fueled by Ramen secrets, or some shit like that, and we were on there together. I guess he wanted you to have it, for some…strange reason.” He took out a bunch of folded up paper in his pocket and gave it to her. Jamie was surprised to see 5 pages of pictures of her with different guys with comments written all over them. And out of 5 pages, only one came to her defense saying “Good for her. All the haters are just jealous because they want to be in her spot. Fueled By Ramen Groupie FTW”.
“Uh, thanks, I guess.”
“Don’t worry about those little sluty haters, baby” Matt said as he took the pages out of her hands and threw them in the trash.
Jamie rolled her eyes and pushed Matt’s arm away from her side. “I can walk by myself” she said, but a second later she tripped over her own feet and almost fell. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself and how ridiculous she looked. By this time the TAI guys were stand in front of them.
“Are you alright, Jamie? You tripped” William said.
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks!” she said back, but she was too excited to see Butcher to care about the fall. “So, I say if we walk that way, we’ll find a breakfast place” she said as she pointed into the distance.
“Do you know this for a fact?” Mike asked, laughing at her intuition.
“Well, I see a sign for a diner right there, sooooo, yeah.” They turned toward the gate and began to walk, when they heard shouting in the distance.
“WWWAAAIIITTT FORRRRR MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” They saw Sisky running behind them looking disheveled. “I LOVE BREAKFAST!!”
While they were walking, William pulled Jamie to that back so no one could hear their conversation. “Can I ask a favor from you, Jamie?”
“Of course, William. What do you need?”
“Okay, so you’re a girl. And I have a girlfriend. And I love Alexis more than anything in the world, but…” William paused to gather his thoughts, while Jamie thought to herself about how she didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “So, I was wondering if you would come with me to pick out an engagement ring for Alexis. You know what girls like, and I don’t, so I could really use the help.”
Relieved, Jamie agreed and they set it up for next week. By this time they were all at the diner, where the staff was struggling to fit seven people at one table in the narrow establishment. The familiar voices made a customer at the counter swivel around and greet them.
“Bob, what’s going on, man?” Matt greeted him, “Why don’t you join us for breakfast?” Bob agreed and introduced himself around to the group of people.
When the tables were finally sorted out Jamie took a seat next to Nate, and before Andy could make his way to the table, Sisky yelled “I CALL A SEAT NEXT TO JAMIE!!!” and sat in the chair on the other side of her.
“Sit across from me,” she said to Andy, “then I can spend the entire meal looking into your dreamy eyes.” Andy laughed, but agreed, sitting between William and Bob.
They ordered and broke off into their own conversations. Sisky and Jamie got to talking about tour, but she could hear everything that was going on at the table. She caught Bob’s gaze and he winked at her. Their drinks came to the table and before Jamie could even put her tea bag in the hot water, she felt a hand on her knee. She assumed it was Butcher, until realized that both of Andy’s hands were on the table. Jamie looked at the other candidates around the table, and when she reached Bob, he gave a knowing smile.
“I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back” Jamie said abruptly and got up from the table.
“God, look at that ass,” Bob said as she walked away. “She’s so fuckin’ hot and she doesn’t even know it.”
“Excuse me?” Andy asked furiously.
“Why does everyone love Jamie anyway? Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing girl, and she’s so nice, but she has all these guys under her spell.”
“I like her because she’s an awesome friend and fun to hang out with. I’ve only known her for like a week, but I feel like we’ve been friends forever.” Nate started, and the conversation moved around the table.
“She’s sexy, and nice, and she actually wants to be my friend, instead of just hook up with me all the time, like all the other girls we meet. She’s like a sweet break from reality” Sisky continued and then it moved to Mike.
“I don’t have a crush on her or anything, but I like her as a friends, she’s easy to get along with.”
Matt paused when it was his turn. “Well, I like her, but I would never want to be in a relationship with her. We’re more just friends.”
It was Bob’s turn next. “I would never be in a relationship with her, I just want to fuck her. She’s so sexy, and really sweet. I bet she looks killer naked. Is she any good in bed?” he asked Andy.
Andy decided to ignore him. “I just think she’s incredible. I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her.”
“But seriously guys. She has you all wrapped around her finger. Look at how she treats you guys. Matt and Bob, you take her in and let her sleep in your bus, she eats your food, all for free. And Nate, you’re such a good friend to her, but she doesn’t give you anything in return.” Nate looked down in shame, though he didn’t feel that way. He thought that Jamie was a good friend to him in return. “And Andy, do you see the way she treats you. It’s so on and off. And have you seen that way she treats her ex-boyfriends? That guy Eric…she doesn’t even talk to him anymore, she’s completely cut him out of her life. Don’t you think she’ll one day do the same thing to you?”
“William,” Mike started…
“Yes, Mike?”
“That was the most profound thing you’ve ever said.”
*****
The table was silent when Jamie returned. “What did I miss?” she asked as she took her seat.
“Nothing” Sisky said and looked down at his juice.
“Ohh-kayyyy” Jamie said and looked around the table. No one would meet her eyes.
The silence was interrupted by a cell phone ringing in William’s pocket. “Hello?” he answered. Everyone at the table could hear her voice practically screaming into the phone. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m eating breakfast at some little diner…Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you…Yes I know the people I’m with…No, I wouldn’t lie to you…Why would I go out with a huge bunch of people I didn’t know…Okay, I’ll talk to you later…love you too, bye.”
“Who was it?” Andy asked.
“Alexis. Sometimes I think she thinks I’m really dumb or something…”
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Seven
Jamie laughed and screamed playfully as Nate picked her up from the back and spun her around with her feet off the ground. “Haha, it’s our ball now.” He shouted, grabbing the football from Jamie’s hands.
“That’s okay, because you’re still losing by three points!” Jamie yelled back playfully.
“That’s only because you got Carden.”
“Aw, don’t be salty! But remember, the pink team will prevail.” Jamie motioned to her team, Gabe, Mike, Sisky, and Alex. They took their team name too literal, and now were all clad in pink shirts, sweatbands, socks, etcetera, but Jamie was proud. Nate’s team consisted of William, Jack, Travis (from We the Kings), and Tony. They were putting up a good fight, but they were still losing.
All of the sudden, Jamie felt her stomach turning, and she couldn’t keep it in anymore. She ran away without saying anything, fearing that if she opened her mouth, she wouldn’t be able to control her stomach. She got past the buses and there were bushes around the border of the parking lot, and she figured they would suffice. Jamie bent over and tried to keep the hair out of her face as she puked in the bushes. She heard footsteps behind her and someone grabbed the hair out of her face and off of her neck.
“It’s okay,” Nate cooed as he rubbed her back. When she was done a minute later she stood back up straight and he could see the tears coming down her face. “It’s okay” he said again as he pulled her into a hug. “Let’s go get you some water.” He put his arm around her and guided her back toward the buses. Nate noticed that she was shaking, but he figured it was just because she was sick.
As they turned the corner around the buses, Sisky immediately ran up to them. “What happened? Are you okay?” he asked Jamie.
She silently nodded and looked up and Sisky saw the tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. Jamie let go of Nate and walked over to where her water bottle was. She drained the bottle, but it didn’t help the bitter aftertaste. “I’m going to get some stomach pills, and brush my teeth. Can you come with me, Nate?”
He put his arm back around her and walked her slowly to the Pink Spiders bus. As soon as they were out of earshot, Sisky turned to the others. “Apparently she puked in the bushes.”
“So, you’re saying she got sick?” William asked. “Is she pregnant?”
The idea hit Sisky for the first time and he made him angry. “Where’s Andy? Did he get her pregnant. I’ll punch him, I swear!!” Sisky yelled.
Tony put his hand on Sisky’s shoulder. “Dude, chill out. Maybe we should find out the story before you go off killing random band members.”
*****
Jamie climbed the steps up to the bus, and Nate followed her to the bathroom. He watched as she brushed her teeth and got a new bottle of water. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small bottle of pills labeled “Acid Reducers”. Nate believed the bottle, but Jamie new the truth. She stored the real medicine in her clothes, there were pills of Speed that Matt hid. Jamie knew these pills would make her feel better a lot quicker than any acid reducer.
“Jamie, what did you eat today?” Nate asked, trying to find the cause of her illness.
“Um, coffee. That’s about it” Jamie answered.
“All you had to eat and drink all day was coffee. No wonder you’re sick, you need nutrition. Let me take you to get something.”
“No, Nate, honestly, I’m feeling fine” she pleaded with him.
“Jamie, you need to eat, that’s what your body is telling you. Let’s go to the super market and pick out some real food. I saw one down the street.” A few minutes later, Jamie found herself walking around the fresh fruit and vegetable section at the Acme with Nate and Sisky. They were picking out foods to make her a healthy salad that would fill her up, but Jamie honestly wasn’t even hungry. When they got to the checkout, Nate insisted on paying, which made Jamie feel even worse about the situation. The men were gentlemen and carried the bags home, because of Jamie’s “fragile state”.
“So, Jamie,” Sisky started as they were walking home, “I’m just wondering, are you pregnant?”
“There’s no chance of that. I think I just have a little stomach flu or something.” They got back to the buses and decided to eat in the Cobra bus, mainly because it was cleaner. Sisky and Nate worked on cutting the vegetables and Jamie sat at the table and sipped out of her water bottle. Andy ran up the steps on the bus and frantically sat down next to Jamie.
“I came as soon as someone today me. Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay?” Andy asked quickly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Nate and Sisky are making me a salad. I haven’t eaten all day.”
“How do you just not eat all day?”
“I guess I just forgot. I wasn’t really hungry. I’m still not that hungry.” Jamie answered back. At that moment, Nate brought over a bowl filled with lettuce, celery, carrots, and cucumbers. They watched as Jamie stirred a minimal amount of dressing on top and forked a bit into her mouth.
“We’ll leave you two alone” Nate said and lead Sisky off of the bus.
Andy and Jamie sat in silence for a minute as he watched her eat more of the salad. He moved closer to her, and she took it as a cue to put her fork down.
“Do you think…” she started, but Andy cut her off by kissing her. Jamie’s first reaction was to push him away. “What are you doing? I’m sick. You can’t afford to be sick too.”
Andy looked hurt and Jamie immediately felt bad. “Look, I didn’t mean for it to be so harsh. I would love to kiss you, but I don’t want you to catch anything.”
“Well, I just want you to feel better. You should finish the rest of your salad” he said as he pointed down to the table.
“I’m not hungry” Jamie said as she pushed it away.
“Do you want me to walk you back to your bus?” Andy asked.
“You do realize I’m not 12, right? I can walk places by myself. And when I’m hungry, I’ll eat. I’m already embarrassed enough that I’m sick, but everyone is making a big show out of it, and it’s not making me feel better.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You know what would make me feel better? If you made the effort to get to know Matt, Jon, and Bob better. I’m living with them now, and you have this picture in your mind of who they really are, but you don’t know them. You judged them by one encounter, and you never gave them a second chance.”
“I know, I’m just not a forgiving person” Andy said back and pushed her hair behind her ear.
“Please try, Andy. I really like you, but I feel like you’re judging me by who I hang out with.” She watched as he nodded shyly, and looked down. She lifted his head back up by putting a finger under his chin, so their eyes met. “Can you walk me back to the bus?” Jamie asked and smiled at him.
He smiled and got out of the booth and pulled Jamie up by her hands, and right into his arms. She laughed and kissed him. Before they left, Jamie reached into her pocket and pulled out a 20 and placed it on the table for Nate to cover the cost of the salad makings.
They were outside of the Pink Spiders bus and he pushed her gently against the side of the bus and passionately kissed her. “Goodnight” he said when they were done.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked. Andy smiled as Jamie took his hand and lead him into the bus.
“What about pajamas?” Andy asked jokingly.
“I don’t think you’ll need them” Jamie said as she turned around to face him. She winked and then turned back around. They were passing the bathroom when the door opened and a cloud of steam hit them. Matt walked out with only a towel around his waist.
Andy let out a sigh and stuck out his hand. “I think we need to start over. Truce?”
Matt nodded and shook Andy’s outstretched hand. “Agreed. Are you guys going to bed?” Jamie raised her eyebrows and Matt got the message. “Well, then goodnight, my little razorblade.” He leaned down to kiss Jamie on the cheek, but she stopped him. They walked past him and Matt stared longingly at Jamie. She looked so happy as Butcher kissed her and lifted her into the bunk.
“That’s okay, because you’re still losing by three points!” Jamie yelled back playfully.
“That’s only because you got Carden.”
“Aw, don’t be salty! But remember, the pink team will prevail.” Jamie motioned to her team, Gabe, Mike, Sisky, and Alex. They took their team name too literal, and now were all clad in pink shirts, sweatbands, socks, etcetera, but Jamie was proud. Nate’s team consisted of William, Jack, Travis (from We the Kings), and Tony. They were putting up a good fight, but they were still losing.
All of the sudden, Jamie felt her stomach turning, and she couldn’t keep it in anymore. She ran away without saying anything, fearing that if she opened her mouth, she wouldn’t be able to control her stomach. She got past the buses and there were bushes around the border of the parking lot, and she figured they would suffice. Jamie bent over and tried to keep the hair out of her face as she puked in the bushes. She heard footsteps behind her and someone grabbed the hair out of her face and off of her neck.
“It’s okay,” Nate cooed as he rubbed her back. When she was done a minute later she stood back up straight and he could see the tears coming down her face. “It’s okay” he said again as he pulled her into a hug. “Let’s go get you some water.” He put his arm around her and guided her back toward the buses. Nate noticed that she was shaking, but he figured it was just because she was sick.
As they turned the corner around the buses, Sisky immediately ran up to them. “What happened? Are you okay?” he asked Jamie.
She silently nodded and looked up and Sisky saw the tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. Jamie let go of Nate and walked over to where her water bottle was. She drained the bottle, but it didn’t help the bitter aftertaste. “I’m going to get some stomach pills, and brush my teeth. Can you come with me, Nate?”
He put his arm back around her and walked her slowly to the Pink Spiders bus. As soon as they were out of earshot, Sisky turned to the others. “Apparently she puked in the bushes.”
“So, you’re saying she got sick?” William asked. “Is she pregnant?”
The idea hit Sisky for the first time and he made him angry. “Where’s Andy? Did he get her pregnant. I’ll punch him, I swear!!” Sisky yelled.
Tony put his hand on Sisky’s shoulder. “Dude, chill out. Maybe we should find out the story before you go off killing random band members.”
*****
Jamie climbed the steps up to the bus, and Nate followed her to the bathroom. He watched as she brushed her teeth and got a new bottle of water. She opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a small bottle of pills labeled “Acid Reducers”. Nate believed the bottle, but Jamie new the truth. She stored the real medicine in her clothes, there were pills of Speed that Matt hid. Jamie knew these pills would make her feel better a lot quicker than any acid reducer.
“Jamie, what did you eat today?” Nate asked, trying to find the cause of her illness.
“Um, coffee. That’s about it” Jamie answered.
“All you had to eat and drink all day was coffee. No wonder you’re sick, you need nutrition. Let me take you to get something.”
“No, Nate, honestly, I’m feeling fine” she pleaded with him.
“Jamie, you need to eat, that’s what your body is telling you. Let’s go to the super market and pick out some real food. I saw one down the street.” A few minutes later, Jamie found herself walking around the fresh fruit and vegetable section at the Acme with Nate and Sisky. They were picking out foods to make her a healthy salad that would fill her up, but Jamie honestly wasn’t even hungry. When they got to the checkout, Nate insisted on paying, which made Jamie feel even worse about the situation. The men were gentlemen and carried the bags home, because of Jamie’s “fragile state”.
“So, Jamie,” Sisky started as they were walking home, “I’m just wondering, are you pregnant?”
“There’s no chance of that. I think I just have a little stomach flu or something.” They got back to the buses and decided to eat in the Cobra bus, mainly because it was cleaner. Sisky and Nate worked on cutting the vegetables and Jamie sat at the table and sipped out of her water bottle. Andy ran up the steps on the bus and frantically sat down next to Jamie.
“I came as soon as someone today me. Why didn’t you call me? Are you okay?” Andy asked quickly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Nate and Sisky are making me a salad. I haven’t eaten all day.”
“How do you just not eat all day?”
“I guess I just forgot. I wasn’t really hungry. I’m still not that hungry.” Jamie answered back. At that moment, Nate brought over a bowl filled with lettuce, celery, carrots, and cucumbers. They watched as Jamie stirred a minimal amount of dressing on top and forked a bit into her mouth.
“We’ll leave you two alone” Nate said and lead Sisky off of the bus.
Andy and Jamie sat in silence for a minute as he watched her eat more of the salad. He moved closer to her, and she took it as a cue to put her fork down.
“Do you think…” she started, but Andy cut her off by kissing her. Jamie’s first reaction was to push him away. “What are you doing? I’m sick. You can’t afford to be sick too.”
Andy looked hurt and Jamie immediately felt bad. “Look, I didn’t mean for it to be so harsh. I would love to kiss you, but I don’t want you to catch anything.”
“Well, I just want you to feel better. You should finish the rest of your salad” he said as he pointed down to the table.
“I’m not hungry” Jamie said as she pushed it away.
“Do you want me to walk you back to your bus?” Andy asked.
“You do realize I’m not 12, right? I can walk places by myself. And when I’m hungry, I’ll eat. I’m already embarrassed enough that I’m sick, but everyone is making a big show out of it, and it’s not making me feel better.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You know what would make me feel better? If you made the effort to get to know Matt, Jon, and Bob better. I’m living with them now, and you have this picture in your mind of who they really are, but you don’t know them. You judged them by one encounter, and you never gave them a second chance.”
“I know, I’m just not a forgiving person” Andy said back and pushed her hair behind her ear.
“Please try, Andy. I really like you, but I feel like you’re judging me by who I hang out with.” She watched as he nodded shyly, and looked down. She lifted his head back up by putting a finger under his chin, so their eyes met. “Can you walk me back to the bus?” Jamie asked and smiled at him.
He smiled and got out of the booth and pulled Jamie up by her hands, and right into his arms. She laughed and kissed him. Before they left, Jamie reached into her pocket and pulled out a 20 and placed it on the table for Nate to cover the cost of the salad makings.
They were outside of the Pink Spiders bus and he pushed her gently against the side of the bus and passionately kissed her. “Goodnight” he said when they were done.
“Where do you think you’re going?” she asked. Andy smiled as Jamie took his hand and lead him into the bus.
“What about pajamas?” Andy asked jokingly.
“I don’t think you’ll need them” Jamie said as she turned around to face him. She winked and then turned back around. They were passing the bathroom when the door opened and a cloud of steam hit them. Matt walked out with only a towel around his waist.
Andy let out a sigh and stuck out his hand. “I think we need to start over. Truce?”
Matt nodded and shook Andy’s outstretched hand. “Agreed. Are you guys going to bed?” Jamie raised her eyebrows and Matt got the message. “Well, then goodnight, my little razorblade.” He leaned down to kiss Jamie on the cheek, but she stopped him. They walked past him and Matt stared longingly at Jamie. She looked so happy as Butcher kissed her and lifted her into the bunk.
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Six
She heard pieces of a conversation between Andy and Matt, but she couldn’t bring herself to wake up. It wasn’t in a dream, it was a black emptiness, but it was comforting. The conversation didn’t make sense to her, so she blocked it out.
“What the fuck did she take?” Andy asked angrily.
“She’s actually not on anything” Matt answered.
“Yeah, right” Andy said, but before he could continue Jon walked back to the bunks.
“Dude, she’s seriously not on anything. She hasn’t slept in days, don’t try to wake her, because it won’t work.”
Andy ignored what they said and slipped the curtain back. Matt and Jon lost interest and walked back to join the group outside.
“Jamie, wake up. I need to talk to you. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. Can you hear me?” When Jamie didn’t even stir, Andy lost hope and left the bus.
*****
Jamie didn’t know what time it was when she finally woke up. She stretched for a minute then pulled back the curtain got jumped down from the bunk. Matt, Jon, Bob, and a few other people were sitting around watching some sporting event on the television. Jamie could see through the blinds that it was dark outside.
“Hey, why aren’t you guys outside, playing or something?” Jamie asked.
Matt looked over at her and it was obvious that they hadn’t seen her until just then. He unzipped his sweatshirt and put it around her arms, knowing how cold she probably was with the minimum amount of cloths she had on. She stuck her arms in the holes, but the sweatshirt was too big and her hands did reach the end. Matt zipped up the sweatshirt and kissed her on the nose. “Good morning, little razorblade. We had off today and we didn’t want to wake up.”
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Close to 8 pm, why?” Jon answered.
“I have to go talk to someone” She went back to wear her clothes were and changed into jeans and a simple t-shirt. Jamie grabbed her phone before heading off the bus. As soon as she was outside, she dialed Andy’s number on her phone, but again, it went straight to voicemail. Jamie needed to talk to him because she knew he’d be mad, but honestly, he didn’t answer his phone the previous day when she was searching desperately for him.
As she approached the TAI bus, she saw Alexis and William standing outside. Alexis had tears running down her face, and Bill was trying his hardest to comfort her.
“Alexis, what’s wrong?” Jamie asked when she got closer.
“Nothing,” Alexis started and rubbed the tears away from her cheeks, “Everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jamie asked, and when Alexis nodded, she deemed it safe to walk into the bus.
Jamie was greeted by Sisky’s singing as he waiting for his mug to be done in the microwave. “Sisky,” Jamie said, but as soon as she did, Sisky jumped and gave a little scream.
“God, Jamie, you scared me. Are you looking for Andy?” he asked.
“Yeah, do you know where he is?” She asked eagerly.
“He’s in the back, with Michael.”
“Oh,” Jamie laughed, “Are you sure I won’t be interpreting them?”
Sisky laughed and walked over to her. “I’m so glad you’re back.” He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug, which lifted her feet off the ground.
When the hug was done she walked to the back part of the bus. She heard Michael and Butcher laughing about something, and she was realized that he was in a good mood. Jamie opened the flimsy door and immediately Butcher stood up and smiled.
“Jamie, you’re awake” he said before he pulled her into a hug. Michael decided to give them space and got up.
“I tried to call you, but your phone was off, so I just came over. I think we need to talk.” She sat down on the couch and Andy sat next to her and pulled her closer.
“Why did you leave Sofapunch? And of all places, you went to the Pink Spiders. You know I don’t like them” Andy started.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not sleeping in the bus with them then. I think they’re nice, they’re my friends, and they offered me a job. Sofapunch basically kicked me out, so I had nowhere to go. Why didn’t you answer your phone or talk to me. I spend most of the day called and looking for you so I could talk to you about it, but you were nowhere to be found.”
“I know, I acted really dumb, I should have just talked to you. I panicked, but I’m okay now.”
“It would have been nice if you were there to help me make this decision. If I didn’t chose to go with the Pink Spiders, I would have to leave.”
“You could have lived here.” Andy insisted.
“Are you serious Andy?” Jamie asked. She got up and opened the door. There were clothes littered all over the floor and in the front they could see Sisky sipping something out of a mug, which he spilled and failed to clean up. “There is no room for me here. There are like a million of you guys living on the same bus. The Pink Spiders only had 5 guys and 8 bunks, so I get my own and everything.”
“I just don’t want you to start acting like they do.”
“I was just having fun, but I would never let it get to that level.”
*****
“So, Jamie, there’s a dress code when you work for us” Jon said as they all sat around the table. Jamie had invited Andy over to get to know her busmates better.
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Jamie asked jokingly.
“The smallest amount of clothes possible. Booty shorts are a must.”
Jamie laughed and rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Bob started, “let’s play a game of strip poker!”
Butcher gave Jamie and questioning look and she took it as her cue to cut in.“Seriously guys, isn’t that a little immature?” she asked, hoping they were kidding.
“No. Come on Jamie, we know how you love to be the center of attention. So why don’t we skip the poker and you can just strip for us, right now” Bob said. Jon smacked Bob’s chest and made a not so subtle head movement in Andy’s direction.
This was about all Andy could take, so he got up and walked out of the bus. Jamie ran to catch up with him, “I’m really sorry about them. They don’t always act like that” Jamie pleaded.
“I bet they do” Andy rebutted back.
She grabbed his arm so he would stop walking away from her. “Andy, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Let me buy you dinner. Now. We can go and get some pizza and just have fun. Together and alone.”
He nodded and took her hand and walked down the street to where they saw shop signs.
*****
Jamie’s phone rang with her text message tone “Three Wishes” by the Pierces. She opened her phone and as Nate’s name pop up. The text just said “I miss you! Let’s hang out tonight.” Jamie smiled and texted “Let’s do it. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I’ll call you later.”
Immediately her phone rang again and Gabe’s number came up. It took Jamie by surprise because he had never texted her before. He texted her, “You’re on FBR secrets. They’re calling you the Fueled By Groupie. Just giving you a heads up. XOXO Gossip Gabe.” She rolled her eyes and shut the phone, rolled over and closed her eyes again.
She woke up for the second time at 8 and took a shower. She quickly did her hair and put on clothes, so she could help set up the merch table for the Pink Spiders. When she arrived, the tent and table were already sat up and the guys were sitting around it in lawn chairs.
“You guys look comfy. Anyone hungry? I was going to go to the 7-11 across the street real quick and pick up some coffee.” Jamie asked.
“I’ll go with you” Matt answered and stood up. “We still have some time before gates open, so we should bring our passes.” He handed Jamie a pass with “Van’s Warped Tour: The Pink Spiders” printed on it.
The crossed the street and entered the nearly enter 7-11 and Jamie made her way to the coffee counter. She was pouring in cream and Matt handed her a vial.
“Pour this in your coffee” he said as he slipped it to her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“A low dose of PCP. It’ll make you feel relaxed. It’s really mellow. I promise.” Matt smiled and she couldn’t resist. She took the vial and thought about it for a few seconds. Before she could second guess herself, Matt took the vial back and poured it in the coffee for her. It would have been easy for her to just throw the coffee away, but she was beginning to like her new position as poster child for peer-pressure. Doing the drugs made her feel good and that she was being a little bad. She put the lid on and Matt smiled and she took the first sip.
Matt was holding a coffee carrier but he managed to put his arm around Jamie’s waist as they walked about across the street. When they got in, Jamie immeditaly spotted Andy. He saw her and waved her over. “Hey, um, the Butcher is over there. I just want to say ‘Good Morning’, and then I’ll meet you back at the tent.”
“Anything you say, little razorblade” Matt said as he kissed her on the cheek and watched her walk away.
“Good morning!” she yelled and jumped into Andy’s open arms. He spun her around and kissed her on the lips, and Jamie felt like she was in some romance movie. “Ahhh, don’t spill the coffee on yourself!”
“Um, that’s coffee? Can I have a sip?” He was reaching for her hand, when she pulled it away.
“No! I’m, uh, getting really sick, and I don’t want to get you sick” she pleaded.
“I’m still going to kiss you, so it doesn’t really matter. We can be sick together. And make soup.”
“But, it has a lot of sugar and cream, and nobody really likes their coffee that sweet besides me. I’m rotting my insides, and I don’t want to rot your also, because when my organs do fail, I plan on taking yours.”
Andy laughed, “Well thanks for looking out of me, and ensuring your future organ-stealing.”
“Well, it won’t be stealing if you say yes. And did you know that by law, if you yell ‘Surprise’ before sex, it’s not rape, even when it is!”
Andy smiled and kissed her again. “I’m starting to really love all these useless things you’re teaching me.”
Jamie laughed, “Well, I have to get back to work, but I’ll call you later. I’m hanging out with Nate tonight, maybe you want to do something with us?” she asked, and before he could answer, she turned and walked away. Matt was still waiting for her, so she walked over to him and he gave her another kiss on the cheek as Andy watched a couple of yards away. “Three Wishes” played out of Jamie’s phone again, and when she went to check it, it was a message from the Butcher. All it said was “I hate it when he kisses you.”
“What the fuck did she take?” Andy asked angrily.
“She’s actually not on anything” Matt answered.
“Yeah, right” Andy said, but before he could continue Jon walked back to the bunks.
“Dude, she’s seriously not on anything. She hasn’t slept in days, don’t try to wake her, because it won’t work.”
Andy ignored what they said and slipped the curtain back. Matt and Jon lost interest and walked back to join the group outside.
“Jamie, wake up. I need to talk to you. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you earlier. Can you hear me?” When Jamie didn’t even stir, Andy lost hope and left the bus.
*****
Jamie didn’t know what time it was when she finally woke up. She stretched for a minute then pulled back the curtain got jumped down from the bunk. Matt, Jon, Bob, and a few other people were sitting around watching some sporting event on the television. Jamie could see through the blinds that it was dark outside.
“Hey, why aren’t you guys outside, playing or something?” Jamie asked.
Matt looked over at her and it was obvious that they hadn’t seen her until just then. He unzipped his sweatshirt and put it around her arms, knowing how cold she probably was with the minimum amount of cloths she had on. She stuck her arms in the holes, but the sweatshirt was too big and her hands did reach the end. Matt zipped up the sweatshirt and kissed her on the nose. “Good morning, little razorblade. We had off today and we didn’t want to wake up.”
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Close to 8 pm, why?” Jon answered.
“I have to go talk to someone” She went back to wear her clothes were and changed into jeans and a simple t-shirt. Jamie grabbed her phone before heading off the bus. As soon as she was outside, she dialed Andy’s number on her phone, but again, it went straight to voicemail. Jamie needed to talk to him because she knew he’d be mad, but honestly, he didn’t answer his phone the previous day when she was searching desperately for him.
As she approached the TAI bus, she saw Alexis and William standing outside. Alexis had tears running down her face, and Bill was trying his hardest to comfort her.
“Alexis, what’s wrong?” Jamie asked when she got closer.
“Nothing,” Alexis started and rubbed the tears away from her cheeks, “Everything is fine.”
“Are you sure?” Jamie asked, and when Alexis nodded, she deemed it safe to walk into the bus.
Jamie was greeted by Sisky’s singing as he waiting for his mug to be done in the microwave. “Sisky,” Jamie said, but as soon as she did, Sisky jumped and gave a little scream.
“God, Jamie, you scared me. Are you looking for Andy?” he asked.
“Yeah, do you know where he is?” She asked eagerly.
“He’s in the back, with Michael.”
“Oh,” Jamie laughed, “Are you sure I won’t be interpreting them?”
Sisky laughed and walked over to her. “I’m so glad you’re back.” He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a hug, which lifted her feet off the ground.
When the hug was done she walked to the back part of the bus. She heard Michael and Butcher laughing about something, and she was realized that he was in a good mood. Jamie opened the flimsy door and immediately Butcher stood up and smiled.
“Jamie, you’re awake” he said before he pulled her into a hug. Michael decided to give them space and got up.
“I tried to call you, but your phone was off, so I just came over. I think we need to talk.” She sat down on the couch and Andy sat next to her and pulled her closer.
“Why did you leave Sofapunch? And of all places, you went to the Pink Spiders. You know I don’t like them” Andy started.
“Well, it’s a good thing you’re not sleeping in the bus with them then. I think they’re nice, they’re my friends, and they offered me a job. Sofapunch basically kicked me out, so I had nowhere to go. Why didn’t you answer your phone or talk to me. I spend most of the day called and looking for you so I could talk to you about it, but you were nowhere to be found.”
“I know, I acted really dumb, I should have just talked to you. I panicked, but I’m okay now.”
“It would have been nice if you were there to help me make this decision. If I didn’t chose to go with the Pink Spiders, I would have to leave.”
“You could have lived here.” Andy insisted.
“Are you serious Andy?” Jamie asked. She got up and opened the door. There were clothes littered all over the floor and in the front they could see Sisky sipping something out of a mug, which he spilled and failed to clean up. “There is no room for me here. There are like a million of you guys living on the same bus. The Pink Spiders only had 5 guys and 8 bunks, so I get my own and everything.”
“I just don’t want you to start acting like they do.”
“I was just having fun, but I would never let it get to that level.”
*****
“So, Jamie, there’s a dress code when you work for us” Jon said as they all sat around the table. Jamie had invited Andy over to get to know her busmates better.
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Jamie asked jokingly.
“The smallest amount of clothes possible. Booty shorts are a must.”
Jamie laughed and rolled her eyes.
“Hey, I have an idea,” Bob started, “let’s play a game of strip poker!”
Butcher gave Jamie and questioning look and she took it as her cue to cut in.“Seriously guys, isn’t that a little immature?” she asked, hoping they were kidding.
“No. Come on Jamie, we know how you love to be the center of attention. So why don’t we skip the poker and you can just strip for us, right now” Bob said. Jon smacked Bob’s chest and made a not so subtle head movement in Andy’s direction.
This was about all Andy could take, so he got up and walked out of the bus. Jamie ran to catch up with him, “I’m really sorry about them. They don’t always act like that” Jamie pleaded.
“I bet they do” Andy rebutted back.
She grabbed his arm so he would stop walking away from her. “Andy, I’m sorry. Let me make it up to you. Let me buy you dinner. Now. We can go and get some pizza and just have fun. Together and alone.”
He nodded and took her hand and walked down the street to where they saw shop signs.
*****
Jamie’s phone rang with her text message tone “Three Wishes” by the Pierces. She opened her phone and as Nate’s name pop up. The text just said “I miss you! Let’s hang out tonight.” Jamie smiled and texted “Let’s do it. I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever. I’ll call you later.”
Immediately her phone rang again and Gabe’s number came up. It took Jamie by surprise because he had never texted her before. He texted her, “You’re on FBR secrets. They’re calling you the Fueled By Groupie. Just giving you a heads up. XOXO Gossip Gabe.” She rolled her eyes and shut the phone, rolled over and closed her eyes again.
She woke up for the second time at 8 and took a shower. She quickly did her hair and put on clothes, so she could help set up the merch table for the Pink Spiders. When she arrived, the tent and table were already sat up and the guys were sitting around it in lawn chairs.
“You guys look comfy. Anyone hungry? I was going to go to the 7-11 across the street real quick and pick up some coffee.” Jamie asked.
“I’ll go with you” Matt answered and stood up. “We still have some time before gates open, so we should bring our passes.” He handed Jamie a pass with “Van’s Warped Tour: The Pink Spiders” printed on it.
The crossed the street and entered the nearly enter 7-11 and Jamie made her way to the coffee counter. She was pouring in cream and Matt handed her a vial.
“Pour this in your coffee” he said as he slipped it to her.
“What is it?” she asked.
“A low dose of PCP. It’ll make you feel relaxed. It’s really mellow. I promise.” Matt smiled and she couldn’t resist. She took the vial and thought about it for a few seconds. Before she could second guess herself, Matt took the vial back and poured it in the coffee for her. It would have been easy for her to just throw the coffee away, but she was beginning to like her new position as poster child for peer-pressure. Doing the drugs made her feel good and that she was being a little bad. She put the lid on and Matt smiled and she took the first sip.
Matt was holding a coffee carrier but he managed to put his arm around Jamie’s waist as they walked about across the street. When they got in, Jamie immeditaly spotted Andy. He saw her and waved her over. “Hey, um, the Butcher is over there. I just want to say ‘Good Morning’, and then I’ll meet you back at the tent.”
“Anything you say, little razorblade” Matt said as he kissed her on the cheek and watched her walk away.
“Good morning!” she yelled and jumped into Andy’s open arms. He spun her around and kissed her on the lips, and Jamie felt like she was in some romance movie. “Ahhh, don’t spill the coffee on yourself!”
“Um, that’s coffee? Can I have a sip?” He was reaching for her hand, when she pulled it away.
“No! I’m, uh, getting really sick, and I don’t want to get you sick” she pleaded.
“I’m still going to kiss you, so it doesn’t really matter. We can be sick together. And make soup.”
“But, it has a lot of sugar and cream, and nobody really likes their coffee that sweet besides me. I’m rotting my insides, and I don’t want to rot your also, because when my organs do fail, I plan on taking yours.”
Andy laughed, “Well thanks for looking out of me, and ensuring your future organ-stealing.”
“Well, it won’t be stealing if you say yes. And did you know that by law, if you yell ‘Surprise’ before sex, it’s not rape, even when it is!”
Andy smiled and kissed her again. “I’m starting to really love all these useless things you’re teaching me.”
Jamie laughed, “Well, I have to get back to work, but I’ll call you later. I’m hanging out with Nate tonight, maybe you want to do something with us?” she asked, and before he could answer, she turned and walked away. Matt was still waiting for her, so she walked over to him and he gave her another kiss on the cheek as Andy watched a couple of yards away. “Three Wishes” played out of Jamie’s phone again, and when she went to check it, it was a message from the Butcher. All it said was “I hate it when he kisses you.”
I'm Not in Love - Chapter 5
Jamie looked between the two guys. Sofapunch was filled with some of her best friends, but they weren’t understanding of her new lifestyle and friends. And she barely knew Matt, but she felt like they had been friends forever.
“You really want to make me chose?” Jamie asked Eric, hoping to get out of it. He nodded. “Okay, well, Eric, you’re one of my best friends, but I always get the feeling that your judging me, especially now. I don’t want you to be mad at me, but you have the right to, because I’m going to chose going with Matt.”
Eric was speechless. His jaw dropped, he had not expected that.
“Um, I’ll be back later tonight to get my stuff out of the bus” Jamie said before she walked around the other side of the table. Matt put his arm around her as they started to walk away. “Yet,” Jamie paused and looked up at Matt, “do you have any room for me on your bus? Because if you don’t, I’m sure I can find some other place to go.”
“No, we have tons of room,” Matt responded. “There are only like 5 of us, so we still have an empty bunk. You’re more the welcome to stay with us. We need a merch girl. Right now we have our friend, but he’s not really that hot, so he doesn’t drag the crowd in.”
*****
Jamie felt the tears well up in her eyes as she pushed her way through the crowd. She knew Andy would be mad with her decision to move out of the Sofapunch bus, but she didn’t really have a choice. And she knew that Andy wouldn’t be happy if she stayed with the Pink Spiders, but there was no room anywhere else. Jamie was beginning to feel like it was a bad idea for coming on Warped Tour in the first place. She just wanted to curl up in her own bed and forget this whole summer. But at the same time she was having the most fun she’s ever had.
She finally found the Academy Is tent and was relieved when she saw Alexis’s face behind the table. Jamie went around the back and whispered in her ear.
“Have you seen Andy? I really need to talk to him.” By this time, the tears were pouring freely down her face.
“Jamie, is everything okay? Are you hurt?” Alexis asked.
“No, I just really need to talk to him. It’s important.”
Alexis shook her head, “Sorry, I haven’t seen him.”
“Well, if you do, can you tell him to call me ASAP?” Jamie watched as Alexis nodded and walked away to the buses. It didn’t take long for her to find the silver and red bus, but it was completely empty. She finally decided to pull out her cell phone and call him, but it went straight to voicemail. The beep sounded and Jamie decided to leave a message, “Hey, it’s me” she started, but couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, “I really need to talk to you. I don’t have a place to stay. I can’t stay with SofaPunch anymore, and Matt offered that I stay with them, but I know you wouldn’t agree to that, but I don’t know what else to do. If you could give me a call, I’d really appreciate it.” She hung up and just sat on the steps on the bus for a few minutes thinking about her situation.
*****
Alexis ran toward them as they approached the bus. It was the first time she had seen them all day, so she didn’t have time to deliver the message to Butcher. She quickly kissed William on the cheek, but then pulled Butcher away from his friends so they could talk in private.
“Ouch, William, it looks like she’s leaving you for the Butcher. Sorry man.” Michael said and patted William on the back.
William’s face dropped and his eyes turned gloomy. “But, Alexis…” he shouted after her, “I love you.”
She turned around with an aggravated look on her face. “Yeah, I know. I just need to talk to Butcher.”
But William was unconvinced. “I will love you forever. Remember that when you’re with him” he shouted again. Alexis just looked back with an angry look on her face and shook her head. “But…” William started before Mike could interrupt.
“Dude, William, Chiz was only playin’. She still loves you. Chill out.” He put his hand on William’s back and lead him up the stairs.
Alexis pulled Andy to the side of the bus where she hoped no one would hear them. “I think Jamie is in trouble. She was really upset, and was looking for you, so she came up to me, but wouldn’t give me any information. I think it has something to do with drugs.”
“I talked to her,” Andy lied. “She called my phone and left a message so I called her back. Everything is cool.”
“What was going on?” Alexis pushed for more information.
“Oh,” Andy struggled to answer and Alexis knew it, “Nothing, you don’t need to worry about it.” He walked away and up the steps of the bus.
*****
Jamie was too frustrated to wait anymore. The Academy Is hadn’t even played yet, and she couldn’t find Butcher anywhere. She walked back to the Pink Spiders merch booth and sat down next to Matt.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked her immediately.
“I can’t find him. I’ve called and searched this whole place” Jamie responded.
“I can’t believe you’re even asking for his permission.”
“I’m not, but I know he cares about me, and I like him, and I want us to be happy” Jamie tried to defend herself, but she knew Matt was going to keep attacking her.
“Will he still care for you when you’re on the next plane back home and you’ll never see him again?” Matt asked.
“That won’t happen” Jamie answered.
“You’re staying with us?” Matt asked eagerly.
Jamie nodded and looked down shamefully. She knew it wasn’t the best idea, but she didn’t know what else to do. Immediately Matt stood up and enveloped her in a huge hug.
“Bob and Jon are going to be so excited to have a girl hanging around all of the time.”
Jamie laughed and put her arms around him. She was beginning to love him in a friendly way. He’d done so much to make sure that she could stay, and for that she owed him a lot.
“Let’s have a party tonight” he whispered in her ear.
*****
Alexis walked back on the bus and the first thing she saw was William with his head hung low. She sat down next to him and started rubbing his back. “William, what’s the matter?” She asked.
He looked up and Alexis realized that he had been crying. “I was so scared that you were going to leave me. I don’t know what I would do without you” William said through silent sobs.
Alexis pulled William toward her and cradled his torso in her lap. “Bill, I love you.” As soon as she said it, William’s eyes lit up and he kissed her passionately. They were interrupted when Butcher and Sisky came into the room.
“Hey, we’re going to play some Wii baseball. Hope you guys don’t mind” Sisky said as he pressed buttons to turn on the television and got out the remotes.
“Butcher, shouldn’t you be with Jamie?” Alexis asked.
“I told you she was alright. This is a boys night.” He said back rudely.
“Well, in that case, I’ll be going. I’ll see you guys later.” Alexis shouted and stormed out of the bus.
Alexis’ shouts drew Mike and Michael to the front of the bus. “Wait,” Mike started, “I totally missed something. Did something happen with Jamie?” he asked.
“No” Butcher replied coldly.
“So, seriously, why aren’t you with her. You spend 90 percent of your day with us” Michael said.
“Because, I like her, but I can already feel the pressure of her life coming down on me. I don’t even know if I want it to be this serious. She’s a cool girl, and I like her a lot, but this is just too much drama for me” Andy shouted at his friends.
“Dude, Andy, chill out,” Sisky started. “You’re being ridiculous right now. From what I heard from Alexis, Jamie has been trying to get a hold of you all day and you’re completely ignored her. If you like her, call her back, or better yet, go find her. Show her that you like her, because honestly, if you don’t, she has her pick of the gentlemen.”
“I just don’t know if I want to start a relationship right now” Andy said back shyly.
“Then tell her how you feel, and what you want in a relationship and I’m sure she’ll understand. Jamie is chill as hell and it’s not fair that you’re treating her this way. She obviously likes you, so don’t abuse that.” Sisky finished his monologue and walked out of the section and into where the beds were.
Andy walked down the stairs of the bus and dialed Jamie’s number. It went straight to voice mail, so after the beep, Andy left his message. “Hey, sorry I didn’t get in contact with you earlier. I really have no excuse. Please call me back, I really want to talk to you. Actually, I’m going to go find you. Okay, bye” and hung up his phone. He had a pretty good idea of where she was
*****
Jamie watched as Jon and Matt pulled out an old trashcan and wood from their equipment truck and started kindling a fire. The day had been hot, but Jamie was starting to feel chillier has the sun went down. Only minutes earlier they got down helping her move her stuff over into the new bus, and now they were celebrating their new bus-mate. The fire began to grow as did the circle around it. Jamie looked from face to face, and most were familiar, but she didn’t know them by name.
Matt then stood up and held his beer above his head, “This is to our new bus-mate, our little razorblade, Jamie.” Everyone cheered and Jamie turned red as they started yelling “Speech”.
She stood up awkwardly and began to speak, “Well, thanks everyone. And thank you to Matt, Jon, and Bob who took me in when I didn’t have a place to stay. So, I guess just, party on!” There were claps and everyone took a sip from their bottles.
A couple of minutes went by when someone stood up to present the group with something. “Guys, I got the best dope” he said in a hushed voice. Jamie saw as a couple of people smiled and nodded around the circle.
“Does he mean dope as in pot?” Jamie asked Matt, who was sitting right next to her.
“Nah. People that don’t do drugs call pot dope, but druggies use dope as a word for heroin” Matt whispered back to her. He pulled down the long, un-seasonable gloves that he was always wearing when Jamie realized she had never seen him without them on. Underneath there were trackmarks that were bruising and scars from past uses.
Jamie gently ran her fingertips over the raised skin and her breath got caught in her throat. “I can’t do that.”
“I didn’t expect you to. I don’t want this to happen to you. I have something else for you” he said as he reached in his pocket.
“Please no more speed. I haven’ slept in days. Seriously, I need to crash tonight, I’m beginning to feel like shit.”
“Okay,” Matt said and took his hand out of his pocket. The bag of white powder had made its way around the circle and was now in Matt’s hands. “Be right back, Jon hold this” he said as he got up and handed the bag to Jon.
“Do you do it too?” Jamie asked him.
“No,” She knew that he did other drugs, but she was relieved with this answer, “I never let myself get into heroin. It’s too dangerous.”
Matt came back with a strap and needle in hand and made his way to the chair.
“I can’t watch you do this to yourself” Jamie said and got up from the chair. She walked to the bus doors when she realized someone was following her. She turned around and it was Jon. He noticed that she had tears in her eyes and he pulled her into a hug. “Matt’s my friend and I don’t want him to see him hurt himself” she cried into his chest.
“I know,” Jon said, “Let’s get you into bed. How long has it been since you slept?”
“Three days. Well, did sleep for an hour two nights ago, but nothing last night” she answered.
“You’re going to crash and you probably won’t wake up for at least 15 hours. Nobody will be able to wake you up, but you’ll probably hear them talking to you in your sleep” Jon informed her.
“Yeah, I know the drill. Well, thank you for letting me stay here.”
“It’s our pleasure” Jon answered and made his way back to the circle. Jamie walked onto the bus and immediately back to the bunks. She picked out a pair of shorts and a tank top to wear to bed and started undressing. She had just put on the shorts, but remained topless (besides a bra), when she felt arms around her stomach. Startled, Jamie turned around and saw Matt standing behind her.
“I just wanted to wish my little razorblade pleasant dreams” he said and kissed her.
Jamie didn’t get a chance to say anything before he walked off again. She slipped into the bunk and pulled the curtain shut. Thought of Andy filled her head, and how late they were playing their show that night, and she began to wonder what he was doing. But before she knew it, her eyes were closed.
“You really want to make me chose?” Jamie asked Eric, hoping to get out of it. He nodded. “Okay, well, Eric, you’re one of my best friends, but I always get the feeling that your judging me, especially now. I don’t want you to be mad at me, but you have the right to, because I’m going to chose going with Matt.”
Eric was speechless. His jaw dropped, he had not expected that.
“Um, I’ll be back later tonight to get my stuff out of the bus” Jamie said before she walked around the other side of the table. Matt put his arm around her as they started to walk away. “Yet,” Jamie paused and looked up at Matt, “do you have any room for me on your bus? Because if you don’t, I’m sure I can find some other place to go.”
“No, we have tons of room,” Matt responded. “There are only like 5 of us, so we still have an empty bunk. You’re more the welcome to stay with us. We need a merch girl. Right now we have our friend, but he’s not really that hot, so he doesn’t drag the crowd in.”
*****
Jamie felt the tears well up in her eyes as she pushed her way through the crowd. She knew Andy would be mad with her decision to move out of the Sofapunch bus, but she didn’t really have a choice. And she knew that Andy wouldn’t be happy if she stayed with the Pink Spiders, but there was no room anywhere else. Jamie was beginning to feel like it was a bad idea for coming on Warped Tour in the first place. She just wanted to curl up in her own bed and forget this whole summer. But at the same time she was having the most fun she’s ever had.
She finally found the Academy Is tent and was relieved when she saw Alexis’s face behind the table. Jamie went around the back and whispered in her ear.
“Have you seen Andy? I really need to talk to him.” By this time, the tears were pouring freely down her face.
“Jamie, is everything okay? Are you hurt?” Alexis asked.
“No, I just really need to talk to him. It’s important.”
Alexis shook her head, “Sorry, I haven’t seen him.”
“Well, if you do, can you tell him to call me ASAP?” Jamie watched as Alexis nodded and walked away to the buses. It didn’t take long for her to find the silver and red bus, but it was completely empty. She finally decided to pull out her cell phone and call him, but it went straight to voicemail. The beep sounded and Jamie decided to leave a message, “Hey, it’s me” she started, but couldn’t hold back the tears anymore, “I really need to talk to you. I don’t have a place to stay. I can’t stay with SofaPunch anymore, and Matt offered that I stay with them, but I know you wouldn’t agree to that, but I don’t know what else to do. If you could give me a call, I’d really appreciate it.” She hung up and just sat on the steps on the bus for a few minutes thinking about her situation.
*****
Alexis ran toward them as they approached the bus. It was the first time she had seen them all day, so she didn’t have time to deliver the message to Butcher. She quickly kissed William on the cheek, but then pulled Butcher away from his friends so they could talk in private.
“Ouch, William, it looks like she’s leaving you for the Butcher. Sorry man.” Michael said and patted William on the back.
William’s face dropped and his eyes turned gloomy. “But, Alexis…” he shouted after her, “I love you.”
She turned around with an aggravated look on her face. “Yeah, I know. I just need to talk to Butcher.”
But William was unconvinced. “I will love you forever. Remember that when you’re with him” he shouted again. Alexis just looked back with an angry look on her face and shook her head. “But…” William started before Mike could interrupt.
“Dude, William, Chiz was only playin’. She still loves you. Chill out.” He put his hand on William’s back and lead him up the stairs.
Alexis pulled Andy to the side of the bus where she hoped no one would hear them. “I think Jamie is in trouble. She was really upset, and was looking for you, so she came up to me, but wouldn’t give me any information. I think it has something to do with drugs.”
“I talked to her,” Andy lied. “She called my phone and left a message so I called her back. Everything is cool.”
“What was going on?” Alexis pushed for more information.
“Oh,” Andy struggled to answer and Alexis knew it, “Nothing, you don’t need to worry about it.” He walked away and up the steps of the bus.
*****
Jamie was too frustrated to wait anymore. The Academy Is hadn’t even played yet, and she couldn’t find Butcher anywhere. She walked back to the Pink Spiders merch booth and sat down next to Matt.
“Did you talk to him?” he asked her immediately.
“I can’t find him. I’ve called and searched this whole place” Jamie responded.
“I can’t believe you’re even asking for his permission.”
“I’m not, but I know he cares about me, and I like him, and I want us to be happy” Jamie tried to defend herself, but she knew Matt was going to keep attacking her.
“Will he still care for you when you’re on the next plane back home and you’ll never see him again?” Matt asked.
“That won’t happen” Jamie answered.
“You’re staying with us?” Matt asked eagerly.
Jamie nodded and looked down shamefully. She knew it wasn’t the best idea, but she didn’t know what else to do. Immediately Matt stood up and enveloped her in a huge hug.
“Bob and Jon are going to be so excited to have a girl hanging around all of the time.”
Jamie laughed and put her arms around him. She was beginning to love him in a friendly way. He’d done so much to make sure that she could stay, and for that she owed him a lot.
“Let’s have a party tonight” he whispered in her ear.
*****
Alexis walked back on the bus and the first thing she saw was William with his head hung low. She sat down next to him and started rubbing his back. “William, what’s the matter?” She asked.
He looked up and Alexis realized that he had been crying. “I was so scared that you were going to leave me. I don’t know what I would do without you” William said through silent sobs.
Alexis pulled William toward her and cradled his torso in her lap. “Bill, I love you.” As soon as she said it, William’s eyes lit up and he kissed her passionately. They were interrupted when Butcher and Sisky came into the room.
“Hey, we’re going to play some Wii baseball. Hope you guys don’t mind” Sisky said as he pressed buttons to turn on the television and got out the remotes.
“Butcher, shouldn’t you be with Jamie?” Alexis asked.
“I told you she was alright. This is a boys night.” He said back rudely.
“Well, in that case, I’ll be going. I’ll see you guys later.” Alexis shouted and stormed out of the bus.
Alexis’ shouts drew Mike and Michael to the front of the bus. “Wait,” Mike started, “I totally missed something. Did something happen with Jamie?” he asked.
“No” Butcher replied coldly.
“So, seriously, why aren’t you with her. You spend 90 percent of your day with us” Michael said.
“Because, I like her, but I can already feel the pressure of her life coming down on me. I don’t even know if I want it to be this serious. She’s a cool girl, and I like her a lot, but this is just too much drama for me” Andy shouted at his friends.
“Dude, Andy, chill out,” Sisky started. “You’re being ridiculous right now. From what I heard from Alexis, Jamie has been trying to get a hold of you all day and you’re completely ignored her. If you like her, call her back, or better yet, go find her. Show her that you like her, because honestly, if you don’t, she has her pick of the gentlemen.”
“I just don’t know if I want to start a relationship right now” Andy said back shyly.
“Then tell her how you feel, and what you want in a relationship and I’m sure she’ll understand. Jamie is chill as hell and it’s not fair that you’re treating her this way. She obviously likes you, so don’t abuse that.” Sisky finished his monologue and walked out of the section and into where the beds were.
Andy walked down the stairs of the bus and dialed Jamie’s number. It went straight to voice mail, so after the beep, Andy left his message. “Hey, sorry I didn’t get in contact with you earlier. I really have no excuse. Please call me back, I really want to talk to you. Actually, I’m going to go find you. Okay, bye” and hung up his phone. He had a pretty good idea of where she was
*****
Jamie watched as Jon and Matt pulled out an old trashcan and wood from their equipment truck and started kindling a fire. The day had been hot, but Jamie was starting to feel chillier has the sun went down. Only minutes earlier they got down helping her move her stuff over into the new bus, and now they were celebrating their new bus-mate. The fire began to grow as did the circle around it. Jamie looked from face to face, and most were familiar, but she didn’t know them by name.
Matt then stood up and held his beer above his head, “This is to our new bus-mate, our little razorblade, Jamie.” Everyone cheered and Jamie turned red as they started yelling “Speech”.
She stood up awkwardly and began to speak, “Well, thanks everyone. And thank you to Matt, Jon, and Bob who took me in when I didn’t have a place to stay. So, I guess just, party on!” There were claps and everyone took a sip from their bottles.
A couple of minutes went by when someone stood up to present the group with something. “Guys, I got the best dope” he said in a hushed voice. Jamie saw as a couple of people smiled and nodded around the circle.
“Does he mean dope as in pot?” Jamie asked Matt, who was sitting right next to her.
“Nah. People that don’t do drugs call pot dope, but druggies use dope as a word for heroin” Matt whispered back to her. He pulled down the long, un-seasonable gloves that he was always wearing when Jamie realized she had never seen him without them on. Underneath there were trackmarks that were bruising and scars from past uses.
Jamie gently ran her fingertips over the raised skin and her breath got caught in her throat. “I can’t do that.”
“I didn’t expect you to. I don’t want this to happen to you. I have something else for you” he said as he reached in his pocket.
“Please no more speed. I haven’ slept in days. Seriously, I need to crash tonight, I’m beginning to feel like shit.”
“Okay,” Matt said and took his hand out of his pocket. The bag of white powder had made its way around the circle and was now in Matt’s hands. “Be right back, Jon hold this” he said as he got up and handed the bag to Jon.
“Do you do it too?” Jamie asked him.
“No,” She knew that he did other drugs, but she was relieved with this answer, “I never let myself get into heroin. It’s too dangerous.”
Matt came back with a strap and needle in hand and made his way to the chair.
“I can’t watch you do this to yourself” Jamie said and got up from the chair. She walked to the bus doors when she realized someone was following her. She turned around and it was Jon. He noticed that she had tears in her eyes and he pulled her into a hug. “Matt’s my friend and I don’t want him to see him hurt himself” she cried into his chest.
“I know,” Jon said, “Let’s get you into bed. How long has it been since you slept?”
“Three days. Well, did sleep for an hour two nights ago, but nothing last night” she answered.
“You’re going to crash and you probably won’t wake up for at least 15 hours. Nobody will be able to wake you up, but you’ll probably hear them talking to you in your sleep” Jon informed her.
“Yeah, I know the drill. Well, thank you for letting me stay here.”
“It’s our pleasure” Jon answered and made his way back to the circle. Jamie walked onto the bus and immediately back to the bunks. She picked out a pair of shorts and a tank top to wear to bed and started undressing. She had just put on the shorts, but remained topless (besides a bra), when she felt arms around her stomach. Startled, Jamie turned around and saw Matt standing behind her.
“I just wanted to wish my little razorblade pleasant dreams” he said and kissed her.
Jamie didn’t get a chance to say anything before he walked off again. She slipped into the bunk and pulled the curtain shut. Thought of Andy filled her head, and how late they were playing their show that night, and she began to wonder what he was doing. But before she knew it, her eyes were closed.
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Four
Jamie woke the next day in the hotel bed with another pounding headache. She opened her eyes and saw that Sisky and Mike were in the bed a couple of feet away from her. The alarm clocked shined a red 10:34 on the night stand next to her. Jamie pulled herself up, but then realized there was someone else in bed with her. Nate, fully dressed and on top of the covers, stirred next to her and opened his eyes.
“I punched him” Nate said. Jamie gave him a quizzical look. “Matt. I heard what happened, so I approached him. He told me that he wanted it to look realistic. I got angry and punched him.”
Jamie smiled. “Thanks.”
“Sisky let me in, because it was either I slept in here, or out in the hall to make sure you were okay.”
“Is it just me, or is everyone on this tour acting like my big brother?” Jamie asked. Nate shrugged in response. “Do you want to get some breakfast or something?”
“That’d be good” he responded.
“I just want to go and get changed and see if Andy wants to come.” She got up and headed right to the door. Her room was one room away, and she used the key to get in. It was dark, but she could see Michael asleep in the far bed, but Andy’s bed was empty. Jamie quickly grabbed some clothes out of her book bag and went to change in the bathroom. She turned on her phone, expecting to see some kinda of message from Andy, but there was nothing. Jamie scrolled through the numbers on the phone and hit the call button when she got to ‘Butcher’, but the phone went right to voicemail.
“Hey, Andy, it’s Jamie. Sorry about last night, we went really late and I didn’t want to disturb you. Me and Nate were going to go out to breakfast and wanted to invite you, but I can’t find you. If you could give me a call, that’s be great. I’m a little worried. I think we really need to talk about yesterday. Please call me back when you get this.” She hung up the phone proceeded to get changed. After a few minutes, she met Nate out in the hallway.
“Is Butcher coming?” he asked.
“I actually don’t know where he is. Something happened yesterday and he wouldn’t tell me what happened, I think it has to do with that.”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“Yeah, but it went straight to voicemail. I left a message, so I guess we should go. I can’t make him answer his phone.”
Nate and Jamie made their way down to the front desk to ask for a recommendation on a breakfast place. They found out there was a little diner with good food a little bit down the road, close enough for them to walk to. When they went in they saw that it was filled with a couple of families and teenaged girls that were whispering and pointing at Nate.
The waitress seated them, but before they could open the menu, a girl that look like she was in her early teen years approached them with a camera in hand.
“Uh, Nate?” The girl asked. Nate looked up and smiled. “Can I get a picture with you?”
“No problem.” He got up to stand next to the girl. “Jamie, can you take the picture?”
“Of course!” Jamie was delighted to help out and stood up. “Say cheese!!” The corny line made Nate laugh, but the picture turned out great. “Here you go” Jamie said as she returned the camera.
The girl was gleaming as she went back to her table. She showed her friends the picture and they all giggled. Nate and Jamie sat in silence so they could hear was they were saying.
“His girlfriend, Jamie, was so nice. She took the picture. But I kinda feel bad for her because Nate was obviously flirting with me. Before I walked away he whispered in my ear that he thought I was cute.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped and she asked Nate, “Did you really say that?”
“No, she’s just trying to milk it for all it’s worth.” Jamie smiled a wicked smile and opened her menu.
*****
They were walking back to the hotel when Jamie’s cell phone started playing the song “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz, notifying her that she was getting a call. She looked down at the screen and saw the Butcher’s name.
“It’s Andy, I’m going to answer it.” Nate nodded. “Hey, where are you?” Jamie answered the phone and waited for a response.
“I’m back at the hotel. Are you going to be back soon?” Andy asked back.
“We’re literally twenty feet away from the front door. I’ll be right up. We really need to talk.”
“Okay” Andy answered and hung up the phone.
They walked to the elevator in silence and waited for it to open. An old couple got out, and Nate and Jamie walked in. The doors shut and pressed the ‘four’ button.
“Thanks for last night. And this morning” Jamie said in a low voice to Nate.
“Anything for a friend” He responded. She smiled and the silver doors opened. They went their separate ways down the hall. Jamie stopped outside of her door, turned and looked at Nate down the hall to find that he was looking at her also. She smiled, waving, and then unlocked the door and walked in.
Andy was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and the television on. “Hey” Jamie said cheerfully and sat down on the bed next to him, but with her back to the television. “Where were you this morning?” she asked sweetly.
“I went for a drive” he responded coldly.
“Are you mad at me?” Jamie asked. She was worried that he had found out about last night.
“No, of course not. I got a call from home last night. My brother got in a motorcycle accident.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s stable now, but last night and this morning no one knew what was going to happen.” Andy couldn’t look her in the eye.
“I’m so sorry I went out. If I had known, I would have stayed.” Jamie felt horrible for having so much fun while Andy was being tortured.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know, I didn’t tell you.” After Andy said that they sat in silence for a few minutes. Jamie crawled behind Andy and pulled him close to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed the line of his jaw bone. Andy turned to face her and kissed her passionately. They moved down so they were laying on the bed and began to kiss more. Jamie grabbed the bottom of Andy’s tank top and brought it up and over his head, and he did the same to her. They’re faces didn’t separate as Andy navigated his way through her body. Just as he was about to un-clasp her bra, Michael burst through the door.
“Oh god, sorry” he began and turned so he couldn’t see them. Jamie grabbed her rumbled shirt and pulled it over her head. “Uh, Butcher, we need to go. We do have to play a concert in a couple of hours.”
“Shit! I forgot completely about that.” He got up and grabbed his shirt and turned to Jamie, “Uh, I need to go, but tonight, we should finally catch up on that date.”
“Okay” Jamie said and tried to smile. He gave her a quick peak on the lips before he ran out and shut the door behind him.
*****
She walked to the Sofapunch bus and knocked on the door. Alex went to open it for her, but didn’t say a word. No one would even look her in the eye.
“Hi guys” Jamie greet.
Ashley mumbled a ‘Hello’ under her breath, but Alex nudged her. She was the only one that responded.
“What’s the matter?” Jamie asked everyone.
Chris was the one that began to speak first. “Okay, Jamie, you know we love you, and always will. But we invite you on tour to be our merch girl, and you’re never around. You work the day, but then once you got out of clean up, and you don’t even hang out with us because you want to start hanging out with your famous friends.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I’m making friend. I’m there during the day, and yes, once I asked if I could skip out on cleaning up, but honestly, we don’t have that much stuff and there are eleven of us all together. I’m doing everything you ask me to do” Jamie retorted.
“Guys, she is right. Who cares if she doesn’t hang out with us.” Eric was the only one that came to her defense, but now that it was said, the rest of the guys looked embarrassed.
“Was there anything else?” Jamie asked. Eric got up and hugged Jamie. Jamie, who was completely confused, patted him on the back. “Okay…”
“We’re sorry.” Eric said.
“It’s okay.” Jamie smiled and walked away to get changed into something a lot cooler.
*****
An hour later, the Sofapunch table was set up and Jamie, Ashley, Mat, Alex, Eric, and Hans were sitting around waiting for the first of the teenage girls. Jamie grabbed a schedule from a young guy walking around and looked at who was playing when. Sofapunch was playing at 4:00 pm, The Academy is at 5:30, The Pink Spiders at 6:00, and Cobra Starship was playing at 7:00. She passed the schedule around for everyone else to check out.
“I really don’t feel like doing a meet and greet today” Alex moaned.
“Then don’t do one. You don’t have to.” Ashley said.
Everyone looked up as Butcher appeared at the booth’s front. “Hey everyone” he greeted before turning to Jamie, “Did you see that we’re playing at 5:30?” He paused and Jamie nodded. “Do you want to come and see us from the side of the stage?”
“Uh, Butcher, you know I would love to, but I have to stay here, I’m sorry.” He looked sad but Jamie grabbed his arm and pulled him as close as she could, given that there was a table between them. She gave him a kiss on the lips and then continued to talk “But, we’re still on for tonight right?” Jamie asked hopefully.
Butcher smiled and raised his eyebrows a couple of times. “Oh yeah! I guess I’ll see you later.” Andy was about to walk away, but Alex’s voice stopped him.
“Dude, she’ll be there. At 5:30, we can afford to have her gone for 45 minutes.” Alex finished and looked toward Jamie and winked.
“Thanks!” Andy responded and continued to walk away.
“You didn’t need to do that” Jamie said to them.
“Yeah, but we wanted to. We can tell that you really like him, and you only get this opportunity once…a year.” Alex finished.
*****
Jamie got to their bus at 5:15, and hung around while their tech guys did the work onstage.
“There are a lot of people here” William said, mostly to himself, but when he realized everyone was listening, he motioned with his chin to turn around a look at the crowd.
“William,” Alexis started, “Seriously? It’s Warped Tour. Of course there are a lot of people here.” She shook her head and took a sip from her bottle of water.
“Alexis, you’re almost out of water…” William didn’t get to finish his sentence before Alexis cut him off.
“I know, William.”
“I was just going to ask if I could get you more” William said sadly.
“Awww, thanks William.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek and William looked proud of himself. He trailed off to get some water for everyone.
“I remember the night you first met” Mike started. “You wrote your number on the check, and William had no clue was to do with it.”
Alexis was a little embarrassed, “Yeah, but he was so cute, he walked me home and everything.”
“Yeah, that was my idea” Sisky said.
“Really?” Alexis was totally surprised to hear it, and Sisky just nodded. “Oh jeez.” William returned and gave the water out.
Tony approached William from behind. “Guys!” he yelled at them. William had no idea he was there and ended up spilling the water that he was drinking down the front of himself. “We’re going on stage in 60 seconds. Get ready!”
Jamie had been behind the scenes at plenty of concerts, but this one was way more hectic and intense. Butcher was the first to guy to run up the ramp, then Sisky, Michael, Mike, and finally William. Alexis and Jamie walked up the ramp to watch from the side of the stage, and they could hear thousands of people screaming and yelling William’s name. They started by playing ‘Neighbors’ and even from the side, Jamie could see the girls mouthing the words. The song ended and the crowd went wild.
“Our next song is from our older record. It’s called ‘The Phrase that Pays’.” The girls screamed and the song started. All of the sudden Jamie felt a pair of hands slid around her waist from the back. She turned to find out it was Matt, smiling sweetly at her. Jamie walked past him and grabbed his arm to drag him down the ramp again.
“What are you doing here?” Jamie demanded.
“I wanted to offer you some stuff.” Matt answered.
“You know I can’t do it.”
“Yeah you can, and I know that you had a good time last time.” Matt paused and Jamie looked down in shame. “It’s different this time. No ecstasy. Just speed. No one will even know you’re on it.” Again, he paused and Jamie didn’t know what to say. “Just take two pills, if you don’t like it, then I’ll never bother you again.” Jamie looked down as Matt pulled two electric blue pills out of a bag in his pocket. Jamie took them in her hand and looked at them for a couple of seconds. Finally she decided, and popped the pills into her mouth. Matt smiled and handed her his water bottle.
Jamie laid next to Butcher wide awake the whole night. She was too excited to sleep, with the mix of butterflies in her stomach and the speed that Matt gave her. Butcher started to stir next to her, and when he saw that she was awake, he kissed her on the forehead and smiled.
“Good morning” he greeted her with. He pulled the curtain back and walked down to the bathroom. Jamie finally had an escape from the tiny bunk, so she pulled on a shirt and shorts and went to wait for Andy on the couch.
She heard the toilet flush and Andy made his way to the front of the bus again. He sat down next to her and pulled her close.
“So, have you heard from your brother?” she asked, hoping for good news.
“My mom called last night and said he had woken up and he was going to be fine.”
Jamie let out a sigh of relief and smiled, even though she knew he couldn’t see it. They sat in a comfortable silence, and Jamie’s thought began to travel to the night before.
Andy led her back to the bus and claimed that he had a surprise for their date. When they got to the bus, he started making a delicious smelling spaghetti sauce and penne pasta to get with it.
She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Smells delicious” Jamie said enthusiastically. She let go and moved to his side and Butcher held up a wooden spoon with a sample of the sauce. “Tastes delicious also. Where did you learn to cook?”
“Alex Suarez gave me this recipe when I told him that I wanted to make something special for you.”
When the meal was prepared, they sat down at the small table which Butcher had set with a white table cloth, candles, and a single red rose. The meal was delicious, though Jamie didn’t eat much of it. She played it off like she had a stomach ache and gave the rest of the dish to Sisky, who gladly ate it. Jamie felt bad because it wasn’t his food, she had just lost her appetite.
“I punched him” Nate said. Jamie gave him a quizzical look. “Matt. I heard what happened, so I approached him. He told me that he wanted it to look realistic. I got angry and punched him.”
Jamie smiled. “Thanks.”
“Sisky let me in, because it was either I slept in here, or out in the hall to make sure you were okay.”
“Is it just me, or is everyone on this tour acting like my big brother?” Jamie asked. Nate shrugged in response. “Do you want to get some breakfast or something?”
“That’d be good” he responded.
“I just want to go and get changed and see if Andy wants to come.” She got up and headed right to the door. Her room was one room away, and she used the key to get in. It was dark, but she could see Michael asleep in the far bed, but Andy’s bed was empty. Jamie quickly grabbed some clothes out of her book bag and went to change in the bathroom. She turned on her phone, expecting to see some kinda of message from Andy, but there was nothing. Jamie scrolled through the numbers on the phone and hit the call button when she got to ‘Butcher’, but the phone went right to voicemail.
“Hey, Andy, it’s Jamie. Sorry about last night, we went really late and I didn’t want to disturb you. Me and Nate were going to go out to breakfast and wanted to invite you, but I can’t find you. If you could give me a call, that’s be great. I’m a little worried. I think we really need to talk about yesterday. Please call me back when you get this.” She hung up the phone proceeded to get changed. After a few minutes, she met Nate out in the hallway.
“Is Butcher coming?” he asked.
“I actually don’t know where he is. Something happened yesterday and he wouldn’t tell me what happened, I think it has to do with that.”
“Have you tried calling him?”
“Yeah, but it went straight to voicemail. I left a message, so I guess we should go. I can’t make him answer his phone.”
Nate and Jamie made their way down to the front desk to ask for a recommendation on a breakfast place. They found out there was a little diner with good food a little bit down the road, close enough for them to walk to. When they went in they saw that it was filled with a couple of families and teenaged girls that were whispering and pointing at Nate.
The waitress seated them, but before they could open the menu, a girl that look like she was in her early teen years approached them with a camera in hand.
“Uh, Nate?” The girl asked. Nate looked up and smiled. “Can I get a picture with you?”
“No problem.” He got up to stand next to the girl. “Jamie, can you take the picture?”
“Of course!” Jamie was delighted to help out and stood up. “Say cheese!!” The corny line made Nate laugh, but the picture turned out great. “Here you go” Jamie said as she returned the camera.
The girl was gleaming as she went back to her table. She showed her friends the picture and they all giggled. Nate and Jamie sat in silence so they could hear was they were saying.
“His girlfriend, Jamie, was so nice. She took the picture. But I kinda feel bad for her because Nate was obviously flirting with me. Before I walked away he whispered in my ear that he thought I was cute.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped and she asked Nate, “Did you really say that?”
“No, she’s just trying to milk it for all it’s worth.” Jamie smiled a wicked smile and opened her menu.
*****
They were walking back to the hotel when Jamie’s cell phone started playing the song “I’m Yours” by Jason Mraz, notifying her that she was getting a call. She looked down at the screen and saw the Butcher’s name.
“It’s Andy, I’m going to answer it.” Nate nodded. “Hey, where are you?” Jamie answered the phone and waited for a response.
“I’m back at the hotel. Are you going to be back soon?” Andy asked back.
“We’re literally twenty feet away from the front door. I’ll be right up. We really need to talk.”
“Okay” Andy answered and hung up the phone.
They walked to the elevator in silence and waited for it to open. An old couple got out, and Nate and Jamie walked in. The doors shut and pressed the ‘four’ button.
“Thanks for last night. And this morning” Jamie said in a low voice to Nate.
“Anything for a friend” He responded. She smiled and the silver doors opened. They went their separate ways down the hall. Jamie stopped outside of her door, turned and looked at Nate down the hall to find that he was looking at her also. She smiled, waving, and then unlocked the door and walked in.
Andy was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and the television on. “Hey” Jamie said cheerfully and sat down on the bed next to him, but with her back to the television. “Where were you this morning?” she asked sweetly.
“I went for a drive” he responded coldly.
“Are you mad at me?” Jamie asked. She was worried that he had found out about last night.
“No, of course not. I got a call from home last night. My brother got in a motorcycle accident.”
Jamie’s jaw dropped. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s stable now, but last night and this morning no one knew what was going to happen.” Andy couldn’t look her in the eye.
“I’m so sorry I went out. If I had known, I would have stayed.” Jamie felt horrible for having so much fun while Andy was being tortured.
“It’s okay, you didn’t know, I didn’t tell you.” After Andy said that they sat in silence for a few minutes. Jamie crawled behind Andy and pulled him close to her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed the line of his jaw bone. Andy turned to face her and kissed her passionately. They moved down so they were laying on the bed and began to kiss more. Jamie grabbed the bottom of Andy’s tank top and brought it up and over his head, and he did the same to her. They’re faces didn’t separate as Andy navigated his way through her body. Just as he was about to un-clasp her bra, Michael burst through the door.
“Oh god, sorry” he began and turned so he couldn’t see them. Jamie grabbed her rumbled shirt and pulled it over her head. “Uh, Butcher, we need to go. We do have to play a concert in a couple of hours.”
“Shit! I forgot completely about that.” He got up and grabbed his shirt and turned to Jamie, “Uh, I need to go, but tonight, we should finally catch up on that date.”
“Okay” Jamie said and tried to smile. He gave her a quick peak on the lips before he ran out and shut the door behind him.
*****
She walked to the Sofapunch bus and knocked on the door. Alex went to open it for her, but didn’t say a word. No one would even look her in the eye.
“Hi guys” Jamie greet.
Ashley mumbled a ‘Hello’ under her breath, but Alex nudged her. She was the only one that responded.
“What’s the matter?” Jamie asked everyone.
Chris was the one that began to speak first. “Okay, Jamie, you know we love you, and always will. But we invite you on tour to be our merch girl, and you’re never around. You work the day, but then once you got out of clean up, and you don’t even hang out with us because you want to start hanging out with your famous friends.”
“Well, I’m sorry that I’m making friend. I’m there during the day, and yes, once I asked if I could skip out on cleaning up, but honestly, we don’t have that much stuff and there are eleven of us all together. I’m doing everything you ask me to do” Jamie retorted.
“Guys, she is right. Who cares if she doesn’t hang out with us.” Eric was the only one that came to her defense, but now that it was said, the rest of the guys looked embarrassed.
“Was there anything else?” Jamie asked. Eric got up and hugged Jamie. Jamie, who was completely confused, patted him on the back. “Okay…”
“We’re sorry.” Eric said.
“It’s okay.” Jamie smiled and walked away to get changed into something a lot cooler.
*****
An hour later, the Sofapunch table was set up and Jamie, Ashley, Mat, Alex, Eric, and Hans were sitting around waiting for the first of the teenage girls. Jamie grabbed a schedule from a young guy walking around and looked at who was playing when. Sofapunch was playing at 4:00 pm, The Academy is at 5:30, The Pink Spiders at 6:00, and Cobra Starship was playing at 7:00. She passed the schedule around for everyone else to check out.
“I really don’t feel like doing a meet and greet today” Alex moaned.
“Then don’t do one. You don’t have to.” Ashley said.
Everyone looked up as Butcher appeared at the booth’s front. “Hey everyone” he greeted before turning to Jamie, “Did you see that we’re playing at 5:30?” He paused and Jamie nodded. “Do you want to come and see us from the side of the stage?”
“Uh, Butcher, you know I would love to, but I have to stay here, I’m sorry.” He looked sad but Jamie grabbed his arm and pulled him as close as she could, given that there was a table between them. She gave him a kiss on the lips and then continued to talk “But, we’re still on for tonight right?” Jamie asked hopefully.
Butcher smiled and raised his eyebrows a couple of times. “Oh yeah! I guess I’ll see you later.” Andy was about to walk away, but Alex’s voice stopped him.
“Dude, she’ll be there. At 5:30, we can afford to have her gone for 45 minutes.” Alex finished and looked toward Jamie and winked.
“Thanks!” Andy responded and continued to walk away.
“You didn’t need to do that” Jamie said to them.
“Yeah, but we wanted to. We can tell that you really like him, and you only get this opportunity once…a year.” Alex finished.
*****
Jamie got to their bus at 5:15, and hung around while their tech guys did the work onstage.
“There are a lot of people here” William said, mostly to himself, but when he realized everyone was listening, he motioned with his chin to turn around a look at the crowd.
“William,” Alexis started, “Seriously? It’s Warped Tour. Of course there are a lot of people here.” She shook her head and took a sip from her bottle of water.
“Alexis, you’re almost out of water…” William didn’t get to finish his sentence before Alexis cut him off.
“I know, William.”
“I was just going to ask if I could get you more” William said sadly.
“Awww, thanks William.” She kissed him quickly on the cheek and William looked proud of himself. He trailed off to get some water for everyone.
“I remember the night you first met” Mike started. “You wrote your number on the check, and William had no clue was to do with it.”
Alexis was a little embarrassed, “Yeah, but he was so cute, he walked me home and everything.”
“Yeah, that was my idea” Sisky said.
“Really?” Alexis was totally surprised to hear it, and Sisky just nodded. “Oh jeez.” William returned and gave the water out.
Tony approached William from behind. “Guys!” he yelled at them. William had no idea he was there and ended up spilling the water that he was drinking down the front of himself. “We’re going on stage in 60 seconds. Get ready!”
Jamie had been behind the scenes at plenty of concerts, but this one was way more hectic and intense. Butcher was the first to guy to run up the ramp, then Sisky, Michael, Mike, and finally William. Alexis and Jamie walked up the ramp to watch from the side of the stage, and they could hear thousands of people screaming and yelling William’s name. They started by playing ‘Neighbors’ and even from the side, Jamie could see the girls mouthing the words. The song ended and the crowd went wild.
“Our next song is from our older record. It’s called ‘The Phrase that Pays’.” The girls screamed and the song started. All of the sudden Jamie felt a pair of hands slid around her waist from the back. She turned to find out it was Matt, smiling sweetly at her. Jamie walked past him and grabbed his arm to drag him down the ramp again.
“What are you doing here?” Jamie demanded.
“I wanted to offer you some stuff.” Matt answered.
“You know I can’t do it.”
“Yeah you can, and I know that you had a good time last time.” Matt paused and Jamie looked down in shame. “It’s different this time. No ecstasy. Just speed. No one will even know you’re on it.” Again, he paused and Jamie didn’t know what to say. “Just take two pills, if you don’t like it, then I’ll never bother you again.” Jamie looked down as Matt pulled two electric blue pills out of a bag in his pocket. Jamie took them in her hand and looked at them for a couple of seconds. Finally she decided, and popped the pills into her mouth. Matt smiled and handed her his water bottle.
Jamie laid next to Butcher wide awake the whole night. She was too excited to sleep, with the mix of butterflies in her stomach and the speed that Matt gave her. Butcher started to stir next to her, and when he saw that she was awake, he kissed her on the forehead and smiled.
“Good morning” he greeted her with. He pulled the curtain back and walked down to the bathroom. Jamie finally had an escape from the tiny bunk, so she pulled on a shirt and shorts and went to wait for Andy on the couch.
She heard the toilet flush and Andy made his way to the front of the bus again. He sat down next to her and pulled her close.
“So, have you heard from your brother?” she asked, hoping for good news.
“My mom called last night and said he had woken up and he was going to be fine.”
Jamie let out a sigh of relief and smiled, even though she knew he couldn’t see it. They sat in a comfortable silence, and Jamie’s thought began to travel to the night before.
Andy led her back to the bus and claimed that he had a surprise for their date. When they got to the bus, he started making a delicious smelling spaghetti sauce and penne pasta to get with it.
She came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. “Smells delicious” Jamie said enthusiastically. She let go and moved to his side and Butcher held up a wooden spoon with a sample of the sauce. “Tastes delicious also. Where did you learn to cook?”
“Alex Suarez gave me this recipe when I told him that I wanted to make something special for you.”
When the meal was prepared, they sat down at the small table which Butcher had set with a white table cloth, candles, and a single red rose. The meal was delicious, though Jamie didn’t eat much of it. She played it off like she had a stomach ache and gave the rest of the dish to Sisky, who gladly ate it. Jamie felt bad because it wasn’t his food, she had just lost her appetite.
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Three
Jamie woke up the next morning with an overwhelming nauseous feeling and a pounding headache. She remembered going to sleep next to Butcher last night, but the bunk was now empty. Jamie edged to the side of the bunk and jumped down when she realized they moving. They were supposed to be spending the night in a hotel near their next tour location and Jamie assumed they were on the way. She couldn’t keep the feeling down anymore and ran to the bathroom. The mixture of beer and drugs ended up in the toilet she was now kneeling in front of. After a couple of minutes, she deemed it safe to stand up, and she opened the medicine cabinet. Jamie grabbed the un-opened toothbrush and squeezed a reasonable amount of toothpaste on and brushed her teeth.
When she walked out of the bathroom she was un-surprised to see Andy sitting on the couch watching SportsCenter. He stood up and smiled when he saw her, and Jamie walked into his open arms.
“I’m so sorry for last night. I’m so embarrassed about how I acted.”
“It’s not your fault” he started, “You didn’t know what was going on. I just think it’s better to stay away from them though.”
“Yeah, but I feel bad because we still have to finish doing the video. I was already in the first part. But, if you’re not doing anything tonight, why don’t you come?” Jamie asked eagerly. “And afterwards I’ll take you out to dinner, to make it up to you.”
“Sounds good” Andy replied.
“So, whatcha watching?” Jamie asked as she looked over to the television. She really didn’t care, but sat down next to Butcher on the couch.
“Sports Center, but I’ll change it if you want” Andy was willing to negotiate to have her sit next to him.
“No, it’s cool, I like sports.” Jamie just finished her sentence when they were interrupted by another female voice.
“Dammit, William!! You always wake me up with your sleep talking gibberish!!” A girl with wavy brown hair climbed out of William’s bunk. Jamie had remembered seeing her, but never had a conversation with her. The girl made her way to the front of the bus, but then stopped when she saw Butcher and Jamie. “Oh, sorry guys.”
“Hey Alexis” Butcher started, “You know, the sleep talking only occurs when you’re around.”
“Yeah, uh, he just started rubbing my back and thanked me for coming to the show and hoped I enjoyed it. I’m kinda disturbed. Does he treat fans that way?”
Butcher shrugged. “I try not to pay any attention to him.”
Alexis laughed and then held her hand out to Jamie. “Hi. I’m Alexis, William’s girlfriend if you didn’t catch that.”
Jamie shook her hand, “I actually did pick up on that one.” She finished the sentence and made room on the couch by moving more toward Andy.
Alexis let out a loud yawn next to Jamie. “You can go sleep in my bunk if you want” Andy said to her.
“Really? Thanks!” Alexis immediately got up and made her way back to the bunks. Butcher and Jamie watched as she started lightly hitting William’s arm. “William, get up. Butcher said you could sleep in his bunk, and I’ll sleep here.”
“Oh-kayyy” William said tiredly and got up. He kissed Alexis on the cheek and said, “You know, I really love you.” She nodded and watched as William got down and opened the curtain to Sisky’s bottom bunk.
“Uh, Bill, that’s Sisky’s bunk” Alexis tried to inform him.
“Oh-kayyy” William responded deliriously and slipped into the bunk anyway. He put his arm around Sisky, who didn’t even stir. Alexis shook her head and closed their curtain, then hopped up to her and William’s bunk.
*****
Butcher and Jamie walked to up to the hotel, hand-in-hand. Jamie was carrying a brown book bag with stuff for them to stay the one night in the hotel. She was supposed to spend the night with the guys from Sofapunch, but Michael, Butcher’s roommate for the night, was okay with her staying with them. Sisky and Mike were staying in a room together, and William and Alexis got their own room.
Jamie followed Michael into the room while Butcher was off getting his own key, and one for Jamie.
“It’s going to be so nice to sleep in a queen sized bed for the night” Michael said in his thick Australian accent.
“Yeah, it’s pretty sad that we’re like three days into the tour, and already annoyed with it.” Jamie laughed as she put her stuff down on the bed.
The door burst open and in waltzed Alexis carrying her purse and sunglasses. “So, there’s outlet shops a little bit down the road and the maid said there is an amazing shoe place. We’re going.”
“Okay,” Jamie laughed, grabbed her purse and turned toward Michael, “Can you tell Butcher that we’re shopping and we’ll be back in a couple of hours?”
“Sure, no problem” Michael responded in the irresistible accent.
*****
A couple hours later Alexis and Jamie came through the door to Jamie’s room carrying a couple large bags each. They were surprised to see everyone in there with unhappy looks on their faces. Butcher was holding a phone up to his ear, but was only saying one word at a time.
“What happened?” Jamie asked quietly. Butcher looked at her, got up, and went to continue to the bathroom. She was greeted by silence around the room. “Is anyone going to tell me?”
“Butcher doesn’t want us to tell you. He’ll probably tell you himself” Mike said.
“Well, is it something bad?” She asked.
“Yeah. But we don’t really know the details.”
Alexis and Jamie put down their bags and sat on the beds with the rest of the guys. Butcher came out a couple minutes later.
Jamie got up to talk to him in private. “Andy, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll tell you later. Matt called here a couple of times. You should go to the video thing.”
“I don’t want to go without you. I’m not convinced that you’re fine” Jamie rebutted.
“Really. You need to go. I’ll be fine.” Andy just finished his sentence as Sisky walked in and joined them in the bathroom. “Sisky’s going to go with you.”
“I am?” Sisky asked.
“Yeah” Butcher said in response.
“Sweet. Wait, where am I going?”
“To the Pink Spider’s video shoot with Jamie. You should be leaving now.” After Andy finished his sentence Jamie kissed him and walked out into the bedroom area. Andy immediately turned serious, “If you let her take any drugs, I will kill you. You need to keep an eye on her.”
“Aye-Aye” Sisky said with a fake salute and followed Jamie before she got too far down the hall.
(A/N: Aurora wrote this next part. She was making fun of the fact that William stated the obvious earlier, so she wrote this. I never intended for this to be in the story. I walked away from my laptop and she took over. But I think it’s funny, so I’m keeping it.)
“I think Butcher likes her,” said William to Alexis.
“Ya think?” Alexis asked sarcastically.
“I think that Sisky likes her too. You know, he’s going with her to the video shoot.”
“Yeah, I know. I was here William,” Alexis patted his knee and smiled a weak smile.
“You have brown, wavy hair.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“I have brown hair too.”
“I know, sweetie,” she kissed him lightly on the forehead and shook her head. He really did have a habit of stating the obvious.
(A/N: This is were Aurora stopped writing)
*****
The night was going fast, but they weren’t done shooting yet. Matt wanted to take a little break and ‘loosen up’ for the rest of the shoot. He approached Sisky and Jamie, who were sitting together drinking beers on the couch.
“Do you want some?” Matt asked. He was holding out his hand above their heads, but they knew what he was talking about.
“No, we’re good man” Sisky responded.
“What are you, her keeper?”
“No, but I know she’s not interested. Let’s just keep going with the video.” Sisky practically shouted back.
Matt rolled his eyes and walked away. Jamie turned to Sisky and started talking. “Thanks for doing that.”
“Any time, babe” he responded back.
Matt came back over again, two new drinks in hand. “Here, I got these for you guys” he said as he handed them over.
Sisky was the first to take the drink, and then Jamie took hers. “Thanks man” Sisky responded. The three of them clicked glasses. “Bottoms up” Sisky said before downing the whole cup.
Jamie took a couple of gulps of hers before Matt grabbed her hands. “We have to get back to shooting. Come on!”
They didn’t have that much to do, just the scene where Jamie leaves Matt in the middle of the night and takes the drugs with her. Jamie was feeling a little lightheaded, but that might have been from the beer that they were drinking all night and lack of food. She laid on the bed next to Matt in a pair of white underwear and a tank top, with his arm around her. Jamie felt the most comfortable she could ever remember. As scripted in the video, Matt moved his arm away from her and Jamie felt dread. She knew what was going on, but she didn’t mind. To finish the scene quickly Jamie got up and took the drugs out of Matt’s jacket and walked out into the hallway. She heard the camera guy inside yell ‘Cut’ and she came back it.
“So, it looks like we’re all done here” Matt said as he approached her. He smiled at her and Jamie couldn’t help but to giggle and pull him close to her.
“Thanks for inviting me. But I need to go.” Their lips were so close, they could have easily kissed. She let go of him and sat on the couch next to Sisky. “Ready to go? Thank you so much for coming.”
He could feel her fingertips graze is chest. “No problem” He answered. Jamie was now so close to him that he could feel her breath on his cheek and lips lightly move over his skin, and she suddenly gave him a peck on the cheek.
“We should do something. Dance or something” Jamie pleaded and begged Sisky like a little kid.
“I think we need to leave.” Sisky was beginning to catch on. He stood up and grabbed Jamie’s arm. He led her through the halls and to his room. Before he opened the door he turned to talk privately to her. “I can’t take you back to Butcher this way. We’ll just say that the filming went really late and you didn’t want to disturb him. This isn’t your fault. That douche bag Matt slipped it to you after I turned it down.”
He opened the door and saw Mike sitting on his bed watching television.
“MIKE!” Jamie screamed and ran into the room. She jumped on his bed and gave him a hug.
He smiled and mouthed to Sisky, “Again?”
“It’s not our fault. Matt slipped it to her” he said softly back.
After three hours of trying to calm her down, Mike, Sisky, and Jamie all passed out on their beds.
When she walked out of the bathroom she was un-surprised to see Andy sitting on the couch watching SportsCenter. He stood up and smiled when he saw her, and Jamie walked into his open arms.
“I’m so sorry for last night. I’m so embarrassed about how I acted.”
“It’s not your fault” he started, “You didn’t know what was going on. I just think it’s better to stay away from them though.”
“Yeah, but I feel bad because we still have to finish doing the video. I was already in the first part. But, if you’re not doing anything tonight, why don’t you come?” Jamie asked eagerly. “And afterwards I’ll take you out to dinner, to make it up to you.”
“Sounds good” Andy replied.
“So, whatcha watching?” Jamie asked as she looked over to the television. She really didn’t care, but sat down next to Butcher on the couch.
“Sports Center, but I’ll change it if you want” Andy was willing to negotiate to have her sit next to him.
“No, it’s cool, I like sports.” Jamie just finished her sentence when they were interrupted by another female voice.
“Dammit, William!! You always wake me up with your sleep talking gibberish!!” A girl with wavy brown hair climbed out of William’s bunk. Jamie had remembered seeing her, but never had a conversation with her. The girl made her way to the front of the bus, but then stopped when she saw Butcher and Jamie. “Oh, sorry guys.”
“Hey Alexis” Butcher started, “You know, the sleep talking only occurs when you’re around.”
“Yeah, uh, he just started rubbing my back and thanked me for coming to the show and hoped I enjoyed it. I’m kinda disturbed. Does he treat fans that way?”
Butcher shrugged. “I try not to pay any attention to him.”
Alexis laughed and then held her hand out to Jamie. “Hi. I’m Alexis, William’s girlfriend if you didn’t catch that.”
Jamie shook her hand, “I actually did pick up on that one.” She finished the sentence and made room on the couch by moving more toward Andy.
Alexis let out a loud yawn next to Jamie. “You can go sleep in my bunk if you want” Andy said to her.
“Really? Thanks!” Alexis immediately got up and made her way back to the bunks. Butcher and Jamie watched as she started lightly hitting William’s arm. “William, get up. Butcher said you could sleep in his bunk, and I’ll sleep here.”
“Oh-kayyy” William said tiredly and got up. He kissed Alexis on the cheek and said, “You know, I really love you.” She nodded and watched as William got down and opened the curtain to Sisky’s bottom bunk.
“Uh, Bill, that’s Sisky’s bunk” Alexis tried to inform him.
“Oh-kayyy” William responded deliriously and slipped into the bunk anyway. He put his arm around Sisky, who didn’t even stir. Alexis shook her head and closed their curtain, then hopped up to her and William’s bunk.
*****
Butcher and Jamie walked to up to the hotel, hand-in-hand. Jamie was carrying a brown book bag with stuff for them to stay the one night in the hotel. She was supposed to spend the night with the guys from Sofapunch, but Michael, Butcher’s roommate for the night, was okay with her staying with them. Sisky and Mike were staying in a room together, and William and Alexis got their own room.
Jamie followed Michael into the room while Butcher was off getting his own key, and one for Jamie.
“It’s going to be so nice to sleep in a queen sized bed for the night” Michael said in his thick Australian accent.
“Yeah, it’s pretty sad that we’re like three days into the tour, and already annoyed with it.” Jamie laughed as she put her stuff down on the bed.
The door burst open and in waltzed Alexis carrying her purse and sunglasses. “So, there’s outlet shops a little bit down the road and the maid said there is an amazing shoe place. We’re going.”
“Okay,” Jamie laughed, grabbed her purse and turned toward Michael, “Can you tell Butcher that we’re shopping and we’ll be back in a couple of hours?”
“Sure, no problem” Michael responded in the irresistible accent.
*****
A couple hours later Alexis and Jamie came through the door to Jamie’s room carrying a couple large bags each. They were surprised to see everyone in there with unhappy looks on their faces. Butcher was holding a phone up to his ear, but was only saying one word at a time.
“What happened?” Jamie asked quietly. Butcher looked at her, got up, and went to continue to the bathroom. She was greeted by silence around the room. “Is anyone going to tell me?”
“Butcher doesn’t want us to tell you. He’ll probably tell you himself” Mike said.
“Well, is it something bad?” She asked.
“Yeah. But we don’t really know the details.”
Alexis and Jamie put down their bags and sat on the beds with the rest of the guys. Butcher came out a couple minutes later.
Jamie got up to talk to him in private. “Andy, what’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll tell you later. Matt called here a couple of times. You should go to the video thing.”
“I don’t want to go without you. I’m not convinced that you’re fine” Jamie rebutted.
“Really. You need to go. I’ll be fine.” Andy just finished his sentence as Sisky walked in and joined them in the bathroom. “Sisky’s going to go with you.”
“I am?” Sisky asked.
“Yeah” Butcher said in response.
“Sweet. Wait, where am I going?”
“To the Pink Spider’s video shoot with Jamie. You should be leaving now.” After Andy finished his sentence Jamie kissed him and walked out into the bedroom area. Andy immediately turned serious, “If you let her take any drugs, I will kill you. You need to keep an eye on her.”
“Aye-Aye” Sisky said with a fake salute and followed Jamie before she got too far down the hall.
(A/N: Aurora wrote this next part. She was making fun of the fact that William stated the obvious earlier, so she wrote this. I never intended for this to be in the story. I walked away from my laptop and she took over. But I think it’s funny, so I’m keeping it.)
“I think Butcher likes her,” said William to Alexis.
“Ya think?” Alexis asked sarcastically.
“I think that Sisky likes her too. You know, he’s going with her to the video shoot.”
“Yeah, I know. I was here William,” Alexis patted his knee and smiled a weak smile.
“You have brown, wavy hair.”
“I know, sweetie.”
“I have brown hair too.”
“I know, sweetie,” she kissed him lightly on the forehead and shook her head. He really did have a habit of stating the obvious.
(A/N: This is were Aurora stopped writing)
*****
The night was going fast, but they weren’t done shooting yet. Matt wanted to take a little break and ‘loosen up’ for the rest of the shoot. He approached Sisky and Jamie, who were sitting together drinking beers on the couch.
“Do you want some?” Matt asked. He was holding out his hand above their heads, but they knew what he was talking about.
“No, we’re good man” Sisky responded.
“What are you, her keeper?”
“No, but I know she’s not interested. Let’s just keep going with the video.” Sisky practically shouted back.
Matt rolled his eyes and walked away. Jamie turned to Sisky and started talking. “Thanks for doing that.”
“Any time, babe” he responded back.
Matt came back over again, two new drinks in hand. “Here, I got these for you guys” he said as he handed them over.
Sisky was the first to take the drink, and then Jamie took hers. “Thanks man” Sisky responded. The three of them clicked glasses. “Bottoms up” Sisky said before downing the whole cup.
Jamie took a couple of gulps of hers before Matt grabbed her hands. “We have to get back to shooting. Come on!”
They didn’t have that much to do, just the scene where Jamie leaves Matt in the middle of the night and takes the drugs with her. Jamie was feeling a little lightheaded, but that might have been from the beer that they were drinking all night and lack of food. She laid on the bed next to Matt in a pair of white underwear and a tank top, with his arm around her. Jamie felt the most comfortable she could ever remember. As scripted in the video, Matt moved his arm away from her and Jamie felt dread. She knew what was going on, but she didn’t mind. To finish the scene quickly Jamie got up and took the drugs out of Matt’s jacket and walked out into the hallway. She heard the camera guy inside yell ‘Cut’ and she came back it.
“So, it looks like we’re all done here” Matt said as he approached her. He smiled at her and Jamie couldn’t help but to giggle and pull him close to her.
“Thanks for inviting me. But I need to go.” Their lips were so close, they could have easily kissed. She let go of him and sat on the couch next to Sisky. “Ready to go? Thank you so much for coming.”
He could feel her fingertips graze is chest. “No problem” He answered. Jamie was now so close to him that he could feel her breath on his cheek and lips lightly move over his skin, and she suddenly gave him a peck on the cheek.
“We should do something. Dance or something” Jamie pleaded and begged Sisky like a little kid.
“I think we need to leave.” Sisky was beginning to catch on. He stood up and grabbed Jamie’s arm. He led her through the halls and to his room. Before he opened the door he turned to talk privately to her. “I can’t take you back to Butcher this way. We’ll just say that the filming went really late and you didn’t want to disturb him. This isn’t your fault. That douche bag Matt slipped it to you after I turned it down.”
He opened the door and saw Mike sitting on his bed watching television.
“MIKE!” Jamie screamed and ran into the room. She jumped on his bed and gave him a hug.
He smiled and mouthed to Sisky, “Again?”
“It’s not our fault. Matt slipped it to her” he said softly back.
After three hours of trying to calm her down, Mike, Sisky, and Jamie all passed out on their beds.
I'm Not In Love - Chapter Two
“Hi, I’m Matt. Of the Pink Spiders?” Matt searched her face for the slightest bit of recognition.
“Oh, yeah! I love you guys! Seriously, you’re one of my favorite bands!” She smiled, and so did he when their blue eyes met. “Oh, I’m Jamie by the way.” Jamie extended a hand, and was surprised when she felt gloves.
Jamie’s face contorted into a ‘are-you-crazy’ look, and Matt knew it was a reaction to the gloves. “We have to maintain our image.”
“I see,” she said and giggled.
“So, uh, do you want to hang out later?” He asked out of the blue.
“Uh, yeah, do you have anything in mind?” Jamie asked back.
“Actually yeah. We wanted to film a music video for one of our new songs, but we wanted it to be like a ‘behind the warped tour scene’ thing, like what really goes on after dark. It’s for the song ‘Gimme Chemicals’.”
“Yeah, that sounds awesome. And I love that song!” Jamie was surprised that they were asking her out of all the girls.
“It won’t take very long, but you would be one of the main characters. Well, me and you. It’s going to take like two nights to do it, because we want some scenes in the hotel also.”
“That’s cool. Should I meet you somewhere or…”
“I’ll be at your bus after we’re all packed up. Oh, by the way, I love this band. I got the cd. One word, amazing.”
“Thanks! I’ll let them know you said that.” Jamie watched as he walked away and then turned to Ashley and smiled.
“That’s the third one this week. You’re on a roll. Why do you get all the guys?” Ashley pouted.
“Maybe it’s because I’m single, and I don’t show my new, flashy engagement ring to everyone that will look!” Jamie laughed.
“Haha, true, but I can’t help it if my boyfriend is a cutie.” Ashley smiled and inspected her ring again. “Well, you’re going to have to pick one. Who are you leaning towards?”
“None of them. I mean, I like them all, but for different reasons. Andy makes me laugh, Nate is really sweet, but I don’t think he likes me. And Matt has a pretty awesome personality.”
“Don’t break their hearts” Ashley warned her.
“Am I the heart-breaking kind? No.”
*****
They put the last of the taped boxes into the white storage hauler and were then free to hang out. Jamie headed to the bus to get changed into something more comfortable, even though she knew it was pointless seeing as how Matt was going to make her change again. She was guessing that sweatpants and an oversized tee weren’t what he had in mind. There was a knock on the bus door, and Jamie assumed it would be Matt (since none of Sofapunch would care enough to knock).
“Come in” Jamie shouted up from the back of the bus. She quickly pulled the shirt over her head and went to greet her guest, but was surprised when she saw Butcher, and not Matt. Just then it all came back to her. The promise, the date. “Butcher, I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s cool. I heard it from someone, so I came over to tell you not to worry about it.” He said it as if he was trying to convince himself though.
“Andy,” Jamie started, walked toward him, and took his hands, “I’ll cancel on Matt, it’s fine. He’ll understand.”
“No, this is a really big opportunity for you, go be in the video. Plus, my version of a date was to bring you to the filming of TAI TV.”
“We can hang out later right? We’ll be here all night, and we have off tomorrow. Please, let me make it up to you tomorrow?” She said with a smile on her face.
“Okay, I’ll see you later then.” He turned to leave the bus, but Jamie followed him. He was going to go left and she was heading right to meet Matt, who was now approaching. “Hey, Jamie,” Butcher started before she could get to far. Jamie turned around and smiled because Butcher was approaching her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Be careful around them” he said before he kissed her.
After the kiss ended they stood there for a couple of seconds in silence. “So we’re all good now” Jamie asked. He nodded and smiled, and let her go as Matt approached.
“Hey, man, what’s up” Matt said as he held out his hand to Butcher.
He took it and responded. “Nothing much. I heard you guys are making a video. Have fun.” Butcher turned and walked away toward his bus.
Matt put his arm around Jamie. “I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind, but there will be kissing in the video.”
Jamie smiled. “He’s not my boyfriend. Not yet at least.”
Matt ignored what she said and went on to describe the video. “So the video is supposed to be like what we do, but the song is about drugs and alcohol abuse, so it’s going to have a dark side. In the video we use, and we’re dating, but we have a weird relationship. Like, you use me for my resources. Finally you just steal shit and leave, and I don’t really care, so I don’t call you. But then there will be flashes of you going through withdrawal, and a shot like 10 years in the future, and I’m still a druggie and, you’re working.”
“That sounds sad. But I’m up for the project. So, where do we start?”
*****
The night flew by fast and before they knew it, they were done filming.
“Celebratory drink?” Matt asked Jamie and the other guys.
“Sure, but I can only stay for a little” she responded. It was already 2 and she still wanted to spend time with Butcher. She knew he was up because everyone couple of minutes he would ride around in the distance on his scooter. “Actually, I kinda have a head ache. Do you have any aspirin?”
“Yeah, come in the bus.” Matt led her up the stairs and to a small cabinet filled with pill bottles. He reached in but then stopped himself. “Actually, I have something better back here.” He disappeared to the back of the bus and reappeared a couple of seconds later. He produced a small pill in his hand and offered it to her. “It’ll start working in minutes. All you need is one.”
Jamie took the pill, assuming it was a high dosage of ibuprofen in one pill. She chased the pill down her throat with water, but didn’t feel any better.
“Give it a couple of minutes” Matt said to her and led her back down the stairs. Within minutes Jamie was feeling dizzy and couldn’t stop the people from moving around her.
Jamie closed her eyes and swallowed down more water. “What did you give me?”
“Nothing strong. It was a small dose of E laced with speed” Matt answered as if it didn’t mean much to him.
It all started to come together. She walked over to him and pulled up the un-seasonally long-sleeved black shirt and saw the track marks lined up his arm. Jamie’s eyes filled with tears as she turned and started walking over to the Academy Is bus. But through the tears and confusion, Jamie felt good. She felt awake, alive, and in love. She surprised herself with the feeling and tried to suppress it, but she couldn’t hide it.
Jamie ran right into the arms of Butcher. He touched her sides, and she couldn’t help herself. She cupped his face in her hands and pulled him into a kiss. He didn’t resist, but he know something was wrong.
“Jamie, are you okay?”
She smiled and tried to run her fingers through his short hair. “I’m fine. I actually feel better than I have in weeks. Do you want to go back to the bus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jamie.” He led her back to where the rest of the TAI guys were hanging out.
Jamie escaped his arms and run to greet Sisky, “Oh my god! Sisky! I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” She smiled and hugged him. Sisky was completely oblivious to the fact that she was drugged and was really happy to finally get attention from this girl.
Bill approached Butcher when he noticed Jamie’s behavior. “She took something.”
“I know” Butcher responded.
“It’s probably Speed or something like that.”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to go find out” Butcher finished his sentence then started to make his way over to the Pink Spider’s bus.
“Hey man, what’s up” Matt greeted, but Butcher ignored him and shoved him against the bus.
“What the fuck did you give her” Butcher yelled in Matt’s face.
“Nothing much, just a little something to make her feel better” Matt responded.
“What was it?” Butcher demanded back.
“It was a really small E pill laced with the tiniest bit of Speed. She’ll be able to crash tonight.”
Butcher shook his head and let him go. Before he could do anything rash, he walked away. He was greeted again by Jamie, but this time he was the first to speak, “You’re spending the night with me.”
“I’m feeling tired” She responded back.
“Good. Come on.” He led her up the stairs to their bus and back to his bunk. He handed her a clean shirt to put on and some shorts. She stripped to her bra and underwear and stood in front of him. Jamie helped him take of his shirt, and she traced the lines of his tattoo again.
“I don’t want this feeling to go away” she whispered in his ear.
“We can’t do anything tonight. We have to go to sleep.”
“I know.” She put on the shorts and shirt Butcher lifted her into the middle bunk. The space was tight, but Butcher put his arm around her and fell asleep.
“Oh, yeah! I love you guys! Seriously, you’re one of my favorite bands!” She smiled, and so did he when their blue eyes met. “Oh, I’m Jamie by the way.” Jamie extended a hand, and was surprised when she felt gloves.
Jamie’s face contorted into a ‘are-you-crazy’ look, and Matt knew it was a reaction to the gloves. “We have to maintain our image.”
“I see,” she said and giggled.
“So, uh, do you want to hang out later?” He asked out of the blue.
“Uh, yeah, do you have anything in mind?” Jamie asked back.
“Actually yeah. We wanted to film a music video for one of our new songs, but we wanted it to be like a ‘behind the warped tour scene’ thing, like what really goes on after dark. It’s for the song ‘Gimme Chemicals’.”
“Yeah, that sounds awesome. And I love that song!” Jamie was surprised that they were asking her out of all the girls.
“It won’t take very long, but you would be one of the main characters. Well, me and you. It’s going to take like two nights to do it, because we want some scenes in the hotel also.”
“That’s cool. Should I meet you somewhere or…”
“I’ll be at your bus after we’re all packed up. Oh, by the way, I love this band. I got the cd. One word, amazing.”
“Thanks! I’ll let them know you said that.” Jamie watched as he walked away and then turned to Ashley and smiled.
“That’s the third one this week. You’re on a roll. Why do you get all the guys?” Ashley pouted.
“Maybe it’s because I’m single, and I don’t show my new, flashy engagement ring to everyone that will look!” Jamie laughed.
“Haha, true, but I can’t help it if my boyfriend is a cutie.” Ashley smiled and inspected her ring again. “Well, you’re going to have to pick one. Who are you leaning towards?”
“None of them. I mean, I like them all, but for different reasons. Andy makes me laugh, Nate is really sweet, but I don’t think he likes me. And Matt has a pretty awesome personality.”
“Don’t break their hearts” Ashley warned her.
“Am I the heart-breaking kind? No.”
*****
They put the last of the taped boxes into the white storage hauler and were then free to hang out. Jamie headed to the bus to get changed into something more comfortable, even though she knew it was pointless seeing as how Matt was going to make her change again. She was guessing that sweatpants and an oversized tee weren’t what he had in mind. There was a knock on the bus door, and Jamie assumed it would be Matt (since none of Sofapunch would care enough to knock).
“Come in” Jamie shouted up from the back of the bus. She quickly pulled the shirt over her head and went to greet her guest, but was surprised when she saw Butcher, and not Matt. Just then it all came back to her. The promise, the date. “Butcher, I’m so sorry.”
“No, it’s cool. I heard it from someone, so I came over to tell you not to worry about it.” He said it as if he was trying to convince himself though.
“Andy,” Jamie started, walked toward him, and took his hands, “I’ll cancel on Matt, it’s fine. He’ll understand.”
“No, this is a really big opportunity for you, go be in the video. Plus, my version of a date was to bring you to the filming of TAI TV.”
“We can hang out later right? We’ll be here all night, and we have off tomorrow. Please, let me make it up to you tomorrow?” She said with a smile on her face.
“Okay, I’ll see you later then.” He turned to leave the bus, but Jamie followed him. He was going to go left and she was heading right to meet Matt, who was now approaching. “Hey, Jamie,” Butcher started before she could get to far. Jamie turned around and smiled because Butcher was approaching her and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Be careful around them” he said before he kissed her.
After the kiss ended they stood there for a couple of seconds in silence. “So we’re all good now” Jamie asked. He nodded and smiled, and let her go as Matt approached.
“Hey, man, what’s up” Matt said as he held out his hand to Butcher.
He took it and responded. “Nothing much. I heard you guys are making a video. Have fun.” Butcher turned and walked away toward his bus.
Matt put his arm around Jamie. “I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind, but there will be kissing in the video.”
Jamie smiled. “He’s not my boyfriend. Not yet at least.”
Matt ignored what she said and went on to describe the video. “So the video is supposed to be like what we do, but the song is about drugs and alcohol abuse, so it’s going to have a dark side. In the video we use, and we’re dating, but we have a weird relationship. Like, you use me for my resources. Finally you just steal shit and leave, and I don’t really care, so I don’t call you. But then there will be flashes of you going through withdrawal, and a shot like 10 years in the future, and I’m still a druggie and, you’re working.”
“That sounds sad. But I’m up for the project. So, where do we start?”
*****
The night flew by fast and before they knew it, they were done filming.
“Celebratory drink?” Matt asked Jamie and the other guys.
“Sure, but I can only stay for a little” she responded. It was already 2 and she still wanted to spend time with Butcher. She knew he was up because everyone couple of minutes he would ride around in the distance on his scooter. “Actually, I kinda have a head ache. Do you have any aspirin?”
“Yeah, come in the bus.” Matt led her up the stairs and to a small cabinet filled with pill bottles. He reached in but then stopped himself. “Actually, I have something better back here.” He disappeared to the back of the bus and reappeared a couple of seconds later. He produced a small pill in his hand and offered it to her. “It’ll start working in minutes. All you need is one.”
Jamie took the pill, assuming it was a high dosage of ibuprofen in one pill. She chased the pill down her throat with water, but didn’t feel any better.
“Give it a couple of minutes” Matt said to her and led her back down the stairs. Within minutes Jamie was feeling dizzy and couldn’t stop the people from moving around her.
Jamie closed her eyes and swallowed down more water. “What did you give me?”
“Nothing strong. It was a small dose of E laced with speed” Matt answered as if it didn’t mean much to him.
It all started to come together. She walked over to him and pulled up the un-seasonally long-sleeved black shirt and saw the track marks lined up his arm. Jamie’s eyes filled with tears as she turned and started walking over to the Academy Is bus. But through the tears and confusion, Jamie felt good. She felt awake, alive, and in love. She surprised herself with the feeling and tried to suppress it, but she couldn’t hide it.
Jamie ran right into the arms of Butcher. He touched her sides, and she couldn’t help herself. She cupped his face in her hands and pulled him into a kiss. He didn’t resist, but he know something was wrong.
“Jamie, are you okay?”
She smiled and tried to run her fingers through his short hair. “I’m fine. I actually feel better than I have in weeks. Do you want to go back to the bus?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Jamie.” He led her back to where the rest of the TAI guys were hanging out.
Jamie escaped his arms and run to greet Sisky, “Oh my god! Sisky! I feel like I haven’t seen you in a while.” She smiled and hugged him. Sisky was completely oblivious to the fact that she was drugged and was really happy to finally get attention from this girl.
Bill approached Butcher when he noticed Jamie’s behavior. “She took something.”
“I know” Butcher responded.
“It’s probably Speed or something like that.”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to go find out” Butcher finished his sentence then started to make his way over to the Pink Spider’s bus.
“Hey man, what’s up” Matt greeted, but Butcher ignored him and shoved him against the bus.
“What the fuck did you give her” Butcher yelled in Matt’s face.
“Nothing much, just a little something to make her feel better” Matt responded.
“What was it?” Butcher demanded back.
“It was a really small E pill laced with the tiniest bit of Speed. She’ll be able to crash tonight.”
Butcher shook his head and let him go. Before he could do anything rash, he walked away. He was greeted again by Jamie, but this time he was the first to speak, “You’re spending the night with me.”
“I’m feeling tired” She responded back.
“Good. Come on.” He led her up the stairs to their bus and back to his bunk. He handed her a clean shirt to put on and some shorts. She stripped to her bra and underwear and stood in front of him. Jamie helped him take of his shirt, and she traced the lines of his tattoo again.
“I don’t want this feeling to go away” she whispered in his ear.
“We can’t do anything tonight. We have to go to sleep.”
“I know.” She put on the shorts and shirt Butcher lifted her into the middle bunk. The space was tight, but Butcher put his arm around her and fell asleep.
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