I'm Not In Love - Chapter Ten

A/N: I’m going to go ahead and warn you that the rating on the chapters is going to go up because there is going to be drug-use. I do not own The Academy Is…, The Pink Spiders, Cobra Starship, or Sofapunch. This story is completely fictional.

It had been over two days since Jamie had heard anything from Andy. It had been three days since she slept. The crash was going to be spent traveling to their next tour spot. She had sent a dozen texts and left voice message. Jamie stopped just short of sounding desperate. Instead, now she checked her phone every ten minutes waiting for a response, but none came.

She didn’t hear anything from anyone else either. Most of her free time was spent with Eric, who didn’t catch on to her drug habit at all. Every couple of hours she was crawling back to Matt, tired and worn out, looking for a pick-me-up. Jamie didn’t want it to turn into addiction, but she couldn’t deny the sweet salvation that the pills offered her.

Eric would come and visit her when he had free time, and their friendship was finally getting back on track. Her friendships with Matt and Jon has also progressed, but she just pushed Bob away when he go to close for comfort for her.

It was really hot and Jamie was especially lonely, sitting behind the merch table by herself while The Pink Spiders were on stage. Matt always sent her updates from stage. In between songs he would take a picture of the crowd or say something like, “Just told everyone that if they spend over $50 in merch, you’d flash them.” But Jamie just desperately wanted to hear from Andy, not Matt.

Matt finally came back to the tent with a couple of beers in hand and greeted Jamie with a kiss on the cheek. He was followed closely by Bob and Jon, who Jamie left in charge as she turned her back to the fans with Matt.

“Here,” he said, “take these.”

Jamie pushed away his hand. “No, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’ve been fuckin’ gloomy and miserable these past few days. This will make you forget him. Or, just not care about him.”

“I doubt that,” she said as she took the pills in her hand. She didn’t want to forget him or not care about him. She wanted him.

She shallowed the pills and flashed Matt a fake smile. “Aw, that’s better, little razorblade.” Jamie turned back to the crowd and picked up right were she had left off.

*****

The sun was almost completely set, which meant the more famous bands would be playing, attracting most of the crowds to the stages, and not the tents. This gave Jamie, and her fellow merch sellers, a rest from the crowds and a head start on breaking the tents down.

Jamie was folding some of the shirts and organizing one of the boxes while the guys had already started partying. The deal was she would clean up and organize everything, then call them to take everything to the truck.

She turned around and there was a geeky looking guy standing at the table holding out a camera. “Can I take a picture with you?” he asked shyly.

“Uh, you know I’m not in the band right?”

“Yeah, I already got pictures with the, but I think it would be awesome to take a picture with Matt Friction’s girlfriend.”

Jamie couldn’t contain her laughter after he had said that, but when she realized he was embarrassed by it, so stopped. “Sorry, it’s just that I’m definitely NOT dating Matt.”

She felt someone’s arm reach past her and took the camera. The whole ordeal made her jump out of surprise.

“I’ll take the picture,” Matt said. She turned around and was nose-to-nose with Matt. She could help but to smile and laugh at the goofy look on his face.

“Oh, you can’t ‘aren’t a couple,’” the guy said using air quotes. “I won’t tell,” he finished with a corny wink that failed to charm either Matt or Jamie.

Jamie walked around the table and rested her arm on the guy’s shoulder casually. She put on a sly smile before Matt took the picture. The camera gave Jamie more courage then she usually had. She decided to really take a picture of guy could really talk about. After removing his glasses and ruffled up his dark hair a little bit, she knew he was ready. The guy smiled at her and Jamie winked at matt, then grabbed him playfully by the shirt and pulled him into a kiss, while Matt took a couple of pictures.

“Well, that was nice,” she said after she pulled away from him. Jamie grabbed the camera from Matt and handed back to the guy.

In awe of what had just happened, the guy held out a sharpie as a way to ask her for her autograph. Jamie took the sharpie, and after hesitating for a moment about where to sign, grabbed his arm and signed “Little Razorblade XX”. She handed the pen back and he walked away speechless.

Jamie waited until he was out of earshot before she deemed it safe to turn to Matt and say, “I don’t get it! I’m nowhere near famous!”

Matt shook his head. “It’s not about that. It’s the fact that he just got kissed by the most beautiful girl that he’ll ever have the courage enough to talk to. I honestly feel bad for his future girlfriend, because no one will amount to you in his book.”

*****

The Academy Is’ tent wasn’t far from The Pink Spider’s. They were one row over, facing in the same direction, so Andy made a point of being at the ten as much as possible that day. He could see through the space between the other tents and positioned a chair perfectly looking at Jamie, not that he was sitting much with all the fans wanting his autograph.

Andy opted to stay behind with Alexis and pack up the merch, instead of going to see Cobra Starship play. A flash of color caught his attention and he looked up to see Jamie wasn’t behind the Spider’s table, but instead posing for picture with a guy.

Just seeing her have fun got him down. Andy had gotten her text messages and calls, but ignored them. He kind of like to see her upset over losing him.

He watched as she ruffled the guys hair, take his glasses off, and then kiss him. Yeah, she’s really caught up on you, Andy he thought to himself.

It looked like she was enjoying herself, too. The kiss lasted long and he could tell that she was oblivious to everything going on around her, like the group of drunk jerks walk by and whistled at her.

Why am I so upset at other people kissing her and looking at her? We weren’t even that serious, he thought to himself again. It’s true, she had her trance over him, just as William had said earlier in the week.

The real killer was when she grabbed a pen and the guy’s arm and wrote some sort of message on him. Probably a phone number.

Andy didn’t care to see anymore, so he turned around and immersed himself in conversation with a small group of female fans that had gathered around. This was just the distraction that he needed. He grabbed a beer from their cooler, cracked it open, and started flirting shamelessly with a couple of the girls.

*****

It took awhile for Alexis to finish packing up, especially with a drunk, sloppy Andy getting in the way. Finally, she convinced him to go hang out with “someone, …PLEASE ANYONE besides me(!!!)” and watch as he stumbled off.

Matt had kept Jamie company the whole time she was cleaning up. Jamie could feel the drugs wearing off as she grew more tired by the minute. Matt called Job to come and help with the boxes, leaving Jamie to watch over the other merchandise.

Both guys grabbed a couple of boxes and started down the aisle toward the buses.

“Oh, shit, isn’t that Andy up there?” Jon nodded down the aisle and, sure enough, Andy was stumbling toward them with two girls on his arms.

“He’s headed right for Jamie, if she sees him like that, it’ll break her heart” Matt said as he turned around with Jon and walked back to the tent quickly. Matt pulled Jamie out of her seat behind the table and handed her the two boxes. “Here, take these. My back hurts. I’ll stay here. Oh, and you have to go that way” Matt pointed in the complete opposite directions from the buses, guiding her away from Andy.

“But the buses are…”Jamie started.

“Yeah, I know but it’s crowded down there.” Matt watched as Jon escorted Jamie most of the way down the aisle before Andy came up.

“Where’ssss Jamie?” Butcher asked drunkenly.

“Not here,” Matt responded. “What’s going on, Andy?” He waited for an answer but didn’t get one. “Why are you doing this? Jamie likes you and you’re breaking her heart.”

“I don’t care. I don’t care about her. She’s a slut anyway,” one of the girls that Andy was with laughed at this and Andy smiled down to her, pulled her close, and began to kiss her.

“Get out of here, man” Matt waved them away quickly and a minute later Jamie and Jon were back.

“It’s totally not crowded down there,” Jamie motioned down the aisle, slightly out of breath from carrying the heavy boxes. “You’re just lazy. Get up and help me.” She tried pulling Matt up, but he wouldn’t budge, so she took a sit on his lap. “Or, I could just text Bob to come and do the rest of the work.”

Jamie had finally organized the guys and got them to start cleaning up in her spot. She decided to sneak away and try to see Andy before the buses headed out for the night and through the next day. She texted Andy as a warning, but of course there was no answer. Whe she finally got to the bus, she expected at least someone sitting outside, but there was no one is sight, so she banged on the door until someone answered. It was Sisky.

“Hey Sisky, is Andy there?”

“No, he’s not. Well, he is, but he can’t see you.”

“Please, Sisky? You don’t even have to tell him it’s me.”

“Jamie, he can’t see you.”

She couldn’t hold back the tears. “I’ve lost everyone, Sisky. Everyone. If Butcher won’t see me, will you at least talk to me?”

Sisky sighed, looked a little uncomfortable, but decided to deny a crying girl. “We’re supposed to be hitting the road in a couple of minutes, but let’s hang out at the next tour spot.”

She thanked him, gave him a hug, and then headed back to the bus, wiping the tears as she went. The guys were all on there and ready to go. As soon as she boarded the bus, the driver closed the door, started the bus, and almost immediately began to move.

Jon and Bob were watching T.V. and Matt was by the bunks. The energy was dripping out of Jamie, but she grabbed Matt and pulled him to her.

“Sleep with me,” she said. Matt had a look of utter shock. “Nothing weird, I just want you to hold me. I need you to hold me,” she pleaded and got into the bunk, followed by Matt. The last thing Jamie remembered before closing her eyes was Matt wrapping his arms around her and pulled her close to him.