The Great Sea of Arizona
The heat of the morning pressing down on my skin caused me to wake. The sheet and thin blanket felt as if they weighed a hundred pounds and held in a thousand degrees of heat. I stretched, and kicked them off of my body to cool down. As I opened my eyes, I noticed that William wasn’t lying next to me. Usually I was the first to wake, as he usually woke me up with his kicking or talking. I wondered where he could possibly be, and climbed out of the bunk to find him.
I walked to the front of the bus to see Jamie and Andy exchanging goodbyes, but Will was nowhere to be found, “Have you guys seen William?” I yawned.
“You’ve misplaced our front man?” Andy asked, confusing me.
It wasn’t like I’d lost him somewhere along the way, he’d lost himself. I was just about to point that out to Andy before it dawned on me that he was joking. I really was tired. “I guess I have,” I laughed, “he’s never up this early and the bunk is empty.”
“I haven’t seen him, sorry,” Jamie said, waving goodbye and heading out of the bus. Something must’ve caught her off guard because she left the door open and I heard William’s voice saying good morning and asking her to join him. Join him where?
They continued their conversation for a moment and I stopped paying attention, at least the mystery of where he was had been solved. Then I heard him mention the word ‘ocean’ and it caught my attention again.
“Uh, Bill, what are you talking about?” Jamie asked him.
“The ocean. You know… the ocean.” I couldn’t take listening to him anymore. We were in Arizona for crying out loud. Granted, he probably didn’t know that, but what was he thinking?
I walked down the stairs and stood outside of the door to the bus. Will was sitting in a lawn chair with another chair set up next to him. He was wearing an old pair of shorts and aviator glasses, and no shirt. I could smell the sunscreen radiating off of him. “Will, did I just hear you saying that we’re near the ocean? We’re in Arizona, there is no ocean here.”
“But…” he frowned and pointed to the black parking lot that surrounded us. I knew that he was thinking he saw the ocean from the heat waves that radiated off of the surface, but his illogical thinking and my first-thing-in-the-morning bad mood mixed with the unbearable heat to make me more annoyed.
“No, William. No.”
Jamie started walking away and Will stared after her for a second before turning back to me, “How do you know it’s not the ocean, Alexis?”
I rolled my eyes, “Because there is no ocean in Arizona, Will. It’s a landlocked state, and it’s a dessert. How would there be an ocean here? Look around you William,” I gestured across the parking lot, “There’s no sand! There’s no waves! Why can’t you just actually think about things for once?”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he stood and faced me.
“It means why do you always have to say the most idiotic things? If you took a second to think things out, you would know that half of what you think is happening, is really something else.”
“Are you calling me stupid?” he questioned, suddenly looking even more hurt, and a little angry.
I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings, I just wanted him to wake up, “No, I didn’t say that,” I reached out and grabbed his arm.
“Well that’s what it sounds like to me,” he retorted pulling away. A crowd was starting to gather around us. Members of other bands had exited their buses and were being drawn in to our conversation by our raised voices.
“Come on,” I took his arm again, “Let’s go back on the bus,” I led the way up the stairs and Will pulled the door closed behind us. The first thing I noticed was that all of the guys were now up, and sitting around the little dining table. From the looks on their faces, they had overheard our conversation outside.
“I think I’m supposed to meet up with Gabe this morning,” Mike rose from his seat, obviously trying to avoid being in the middle of our argument.
“I think I’m supposed to go with you?” Sisky gripped for an excuse to leave as well.
“Me too!” Michael tagged along behind them.
“Awkward,” Andy sang under his breath as he took up the rear of the line of guys exiting the bus.
William sat down on the sofa, and I sat down next to him, taking his hand. “Sometimes I feel like you don’t have any faith in me,” he whispered, his eyes studying the sofa cushion so that he didn’t have to look at me.
Suddenly I felt awful and I needed to rectify the situation, “William, of course I don’t feel that way. Of course I have faith in you,” I ran my fingers up and down his arm and he shivered, “I think the world of you. You’re an amazing musician and you write beautiful songs, you have a wonderful, loving personality. I love you. Of course I have faith in you,” I kissed his cheek softly.
“Sometimes I think you think I’m dumb, and then you get angry at me,” he said softly, sounding almost like a little boy.
I frowned, “I don’t think you’re dumb. I think you’re very smart,” I kissed his cheek again, “Just sometimes you’re very naïve and I worry about you.”
“You worry about me?” he turned to me and a hint of a smile danced on the corners of his lips.
I nodded, “Because I love you.”
“I love you too,” he smiled wide this time, but I still felt uneasy and awful about what I’d said to him earlier.
“I’m so sorry about what I said a few minutes ago. I was just feeling grumpy.”
His smile widened even more, “Well I’m sorry for thinking we were near the ocean. I really didn’t know we were in Arizona, and those heat waves are just so convincing.”
“I know, Sweetie,” I kissed his nose, and he pulled me onto his lap.
“I love you, Lexi,” he whispered as his fingers brushed against the spaghetti strap of my pajama shirt causing it to fall down off my shoulder, “Sexy Lexi,” he used his nickname for me as he leaned in to kiss me.
The kiss soon turned into a heated make out session. We were lying on the sofa and I was straddling his hips, when the movement of his hand on my neck caused a little popping sound and the chain necklace that I was wearing slipped off. “Oh shoot,” I broke the kiss, “my necklace just broke.”
“Your necklace came off your neck,” William said almost at the same time.
I looked at his chest and the place next to him on the sofa. The necklace wasn’t there, “I really need to find it. It’s really special to me.”
“It’s your special necklace,” Will agreed, “From your grandma.”
I nodded.
She lay on her bed, homemade quilt pulled up to her neck. She was in her own home, but it felt like an alien land with all of the machinery that sat around her bed. I sat next to her holding her hand. I was the only family here. My mother was gallivanting in Europe with her latest boyfriend and couldn’t be reached. She had no idea of the condition her mother was in. My older sister was attending college in Florida and she couldn’t possibly pay to fly up to Illinois on a student income. I was the only one here to take care of my grandmother in her sickened state, and that involved cooking, housework, helping her take her meds, and sleeping in the chair next to her bed every night for the past week. Even though she insisted, I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her alone even if my room was just down the hall. I wanted to be with her as much as possible.
“’An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger…’” I was reading to her from one of our favorite books, Pride and Prejudice, but she interrupted one of my favorite Mr. Bennett parts.
“Alexis, I have something for you,” her hoarse voice was almost a whisper, “It’s in the top drawer of my nightstand.”
I looked at her curiously and place the book down on the side of her bed, reaching over to the nightstand. I pulled open the drawer and looked at the inside contents: a bookmark, a pair of tweezers, a nail clipper, a tube of Tangee lipstick, a magnifying mirror, and a little white jewelry box. I held up the jewelry box, thinking that she probably wasn’t about to hand over her used lipstick or old tweezers. She nodded and I proceeded to open the box. Inside was her antique sapphire necklace that she’d received as a gift from my grandfather on their one year wedding anniversary. She used to wear it with everything. I took the necklace in, it had a delicate gold chain and the sapphire was the brightest blue, with a decorated gold setting. I knew it was her favorite piece of jewelry, and the thought of it brought tears to my eyes, “I can’t accept this, grandma,” I choked.
“Yes you can. I want to give it to you,” her voice was stern even in all its frailty.
“But it’s your favorite,” I protested, knowing clearly what it meant that she was giving me her favorite piece of jewelry. She knew that she didn’t have much time left.
“It’s yours now. I want you to have it. Besides, who else would I give it to? You’re the only other September birthday I know.”
I gave in and nodded, silent tears streaming down my face.
“Try it on,” she suggested, and I did as I was told. It was the perfect length and she smiled as much as she could through her pain, “You’re beautiful. It’s about time that necklace made it back to someone young and beautiful.”
“Grandma – “ I didn’t really know what I wanted to say, but I knew that I didn’t want her to die, and I knew that it was inevitable.
“I know, Alexis. I love you.”
I kissed her cheek and then her forehead, “I love you too.”
“Now continue reading the story. I love this part with Mr. Bennet and Lizzie,” she demanded.
“Okay,” I sniffled before picking up the book again and continuing to read, “"An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do…’”
“Will sit up for a sec,” I demanded. I was still straddling him, but he sat up and I searched the cushions behind him to no avail, “I don’t know where the hell it is.”
“Maybe on the floor?” Will leaned over, putting one hand on the floor and searched around for it. I stuck my hands in between the couch cushions, thinking that maybe it had fallen in between them somehow. As I ran my hand from the front of the sofa to the back, I shifted myself so that my leg wrapped around Will’s torso to steady myself, and leaned back away from him a bit. At the same time, he decided to search further away on the floor and leaned into me as I leaned away.
Suddenly the door burst open and Michael ran up the steps. Taking in the sight in front of him he chuckled to himself before averting his eyes and proceeding to the back area of the bus.
“We’re just looking for my necklace,” I said.
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” he asked still laughing. Apparently he’d found what he was looking for and had exited the bus before I could say anything else.
“I think he thought we were getting it on,” Will said looking very proud of himself. He, no doubt, was hoping that’s what Michael was thinking.
I rolled my eyes, boys.
“I found it,” he pulled it from the floor, “I don’t know how it got all the way down here though. Oh, look, the chain is broken.”
He was right. As I took the necklace from his hand I saw that the chain had split about two inches from the clasp. I was so disappointed. It was the original chain, “Aw, shit. I’m not going to be able to fix this.” I felt the tears of frustration and remorse building in my eyes.
“It’s okay,” William wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb, “When we get back home we can get a new chain for it.”
“I know,” I sniffled, “It’s just not going to be the same without the original chain. Maybe I’ll do something else with the sapphire. I guess that’s the most important part anyway.”
Will nodded looking momentarily distracted, “Well sure, whatever you want to do. You should keep it somewhere safe though. This tour is crazy, and you don’t want anything to happen to it. I can hold onto it if you want,” he suggested.
“Okay,” I handed it to him and he went to the back of the bunk to put it with his stuff. When he came back he was smiling.
“Where did we leave off?” he joined me again on the couch.
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