I'm Not In Love - Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I DO NOT personally know any of these bands or people. I do OWN Jamie and Alexis. This story is COMPLETELY fiction.


Jamie woke up for a restless sleep to find Andy lying naked next to her. She watched for a few minutes as his chest rose and fell with his breathing, but her stomach started to rumble with hunger. Their cloths from the night before littered the floor and she listened for anyone awake on the bus, but heard nothing. She decided it was safe to slip out of bed soundlessly and put on her pair of shorts from the night before. Before she got her shirt over her head, Matt walked out of the bathroom and stopped in his tracks.

“Oh god, Jamie, sorry. I didn’t know you would be naked. If I did, I wouldn’t have come out” he said as he covered his eyes and turned around. She finished pulling the shirt over her head and walked over to him. Her arms slide under his and she hugged him from the back.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think anyone was awake” she said innocently.

“I haven’t been to sleep yet” he replied. By this point he had turned around in her arms and was holding her close. “Will Andy be up anytime soon?” he inquired.

“I don’t think so, I kept him pretty busy all night.” She smiled and Matt raised his eyebrows. He was going to push his way past her until she put her hand on his chest to stop him. “I wanted to give you something to repay you for all of the … you know. So, what’s your payment of choice?” she whispered seductively to him.

“Where is this coming from? What happened to only pleasing Andy? Did you guys get in a fight? I just made up with him.” His words were pleading, but his voice and body were urging her on

“I don’t need to just be tied down with one person. Andy and I aren’t what you would classify as a couple. Yeah, we like each other, but I like some other people too.”

Matt smiled, these were finally the words he wanted to hear. “You know they say if you have sex on Ecstasy, it’s so amazing that you can’t go back. Should we put it to the test?”

Jamie moved her hand and backed away when she heard rustling coming from her bunk. She ran to that bathroom and opened up the first bottle of pills she saw and took two of whatever was inside. She pushed her hair behind her ears and opened the door. Jamie reached her bunk just as Andy was pushing back the curtain to come out. She opened it first and greeted him with a kiss.

“Let’s go out for breakfast,” she said in a tone that was a little too peppy for the morning. She could already feel the energy flowing through her veins. The thoughts of sleep that once plagued her mind were replaced by those of the upcoming day. The spaghetti strap and shorts she chose were perfectly suited for what was supposed to be the hottest day of the summer so far.

“Can you pass me my shorts?” he asked in a low voice.

“You mean these shorts?” Jamie asked as she picked up the bright red cloth on the floor. “It’ll cost you … one kiss.”

“Gladly” he said as he grabbed the shorts and paid his dues. Jamie couldn’t resist him, so she climbed up into the bunk and strattled his legs. She kissed him more passionately and felt him grow more excited under the sheets.

“Uh, we should go. I’m going to invite Matt and Nate. I’ll meet you outside.” She kissed his chin and left him alone in the bunk with his shorts. Jamie jumped out of the bunk and retrieved her cell phone on the table in the kitchen area. She scrolled through the numbers until she found Nate’s and dialed his phone. After a couple of rings the phone went to voicemail. “Hey, Nate…It’s Jamie. I know you’re probably not up this early. But if this call happens to wake you up, come by the bus because we’re going out to breakfast. So, hopefully, I’ll see you in a few!”

Jamie went into the bathroom to clean up and wash her face. Half way through putting on her make-up the door opened and in came Matt. “Oh, hey! Did you want to come out to breakfast with us?”

“Uh, yeah. I just need a little pick-me-up.” He pulled out a fresh needle. “Do you want to try some?”

“Of course not. That’s a horrible drug, I’ll never let myself get that far.” She watched as he lifted up his sleeve and flick the needle. “Don’t do it, Matt. Please.”

He stopped for a second and looked up into her sad eyes. Instead of comforting her, like that Matt she knew, he became anger at her plea. “I’ve only known you for a week and you’re trying to change me? I give you a place to stay when other people didn’t want to have anything to do with you. I gave you you’re first experience with drugs, and you loved it. And this is how you re-pay me?” At this point Jamie had tears running down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry I actually considered you a friend” Jamie said as she reached for the door handle.

“Yeah, just run away to your little, annoying fuckin’ boyfriend. Just like the little slut you are. You couldn’t survive a week on tour without seducing every guy you say. You’re just a little worthless slut.”

She couldn’t take it anymore, Jamie turned around and slapped him on the face. And before she could stop him he was putting the needle into a visible vein in his arm. His eyes rolled back in pleasure and he sat on the closed toilet seat. Jamie opened the door and left him alone.

Jon was sitting on the couch, but immediately stood up when he saw Jamie’s tears. “What’s the matter?” he asked and pulled her into a hug.

“Nothing. Is Butcher still here?”

“No,” that word hurt almost as much as Matt’s did, “he went back to his bus to get his wallet. Did Matt say anything to you.”

“I’ve never heard anything so hurtful before in my life. I need to move out of here.”

“Listen, Jamie, I know what he said was hurtful, but he can’t control it. He has said some pretty horrible things to me in the past, but you have to forgive him. You came in between him and the drugs, and he was crashing. That’s the way you deal with it when you’re addicted to the most deadly drug on the face of the planet. He didn’t mean anything he said. He actually cares about you so much, more then you’ll ever know.”

Jamie had been so distracted by Jon that she didn’t realize that Matt was out of the bathroom. Jon let her go so she was forced for face Matt.

“Oh god, Jamie, I’m so sorry I said those things. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry.” He approached her, but Jamie couldn’t find the words to forgive him just yet. His arms enveloped her in a hug, but she didn’t care enough to hug back. “Let me take you out to breakfast. But first I have something to take away the pain.”

*****
Matt had his arm around Jamie to help her walk. She didn’t necessarily like it, but she hadn’t really eaten in two days. They saw Mike, William, and Butcher exit the TAI bus and all of the sudden she felt someone’s hands creep up her side. Being extremely ticklish, she laughed and turned to face Nate, who had a huge smile on her face.

“How are you feeling this morning, sunshine?” he asked her.

“Better. I like my new nickname” she laughed.

“Sunshine, it’s because you light up my day” Nate said as he laughed at himself.

“Alright, Corny McGee. Sorry I woke you up, but I wanted to make up for last night.”

“Thanks, oh, hey, I have something for you from Gabe. Apparently he’s always checking this site called Fueled by Ramen secrets, or some shit like that, and we were on there together. I guess he wanted you to have it, for some…strange reason.” He took out a bunch of folded up paper in his pocket and gave it to her. Jamie was surprised to see 5 pages of pictures of her with different guys with comments written all over them. And out of 5 pages, only one came to her defense saying “Good for her. All the haters are just jealous because they want to be in her spot. Fueled By Ramen Groupie FTW”.

“Uh, thanks, I guess.”

“Don’t worry about those little sluty haters, baby” Matt said as he took the pages out of her hands and threw them in the trash.

Jamie rolled her eyes and pushed Matt’s arm away from her side. “I can walk by myself” she said, but a second later she tripped over her own feet and almost fell. She couldn’t help but laugh at herself and how ridiculous she looked. By this time the TAI guys were stand in front of them.

“Are you alright, Jamie? You tripped” William said.

“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks!” she said back, but she was too excited to see Butcher to care about the fall. “So, I say if we walk that way, we’ll find a breakfast place” she said as she pointed into the distance.

“Do you know this for a fact?” Mike asked, laughing at her intuition.

“Well, I see a sign for a diner right there, sooooo, yeah.” They turned toward the gate and began to walk, when they heard shouting in the distance.

“WWWAAAIIITTT FORRRRR MMMMEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!” They saw Sisky running behind them looking disheveled. “I LOVE BREAKFAST!!”

While they were walking, William pulled Jamie to that back so no one could hear their conversation. “Can I ask a favor from you, Jamie?”

“Of course, William. What do you need?”

“Okay, so you’re a girl. And I have a girlfriend. And I love Alexis more than anything in the world, but…” William paused to gather his thoughts, while Jamie thought to herself about how she didn’t like the way this conversation was going. “So, I was wondering if you would come with me to pick out an engagement ring for Alexis. You know what girls like, and I don’t, so I could really use the help.”

Relieved, Jamie agreed and they set it up for next week. By this time they were all at the diner, where the staff was struggling to fit seven people at one table in the narrow establishment. The familiar voices made a customer at the counter swivel around and greet them.

“Bob, what’s going on, man?” Matt greeted him, “Why don’t you join us for breakfast?” Bob agreed and introduced himself around to the group of people.

When the tables were finally sorted out Jamie took a seat next to Nate, and before Andy could make his way to the table, Sisky yelled “I CALL A SEAT NEXT TO JAMIE!!!” and sat in the chair on the other side of her.

“Sit across from me,” she said to Andy, “then I can spend the entire meal looking into your dreamy eyes.” Andy laughed, but agreed, sitting between William and Bob.

They ordered and broke off into their own conversations. Sisky and Jamie got to talking about tour, but she could hear everything that was going on at the table. She caught Bob’s gaze and he winked at her. Their drinks came to the table and before Jamie could even put her tea bag in the hot water, she felt a hand on her knee. She assumed it was Butcher, until realized that both of Andy’s hands were on the table. Jamie looked at the other candidates around the table, and when she reached Bob, he gave a knowing smile.

“I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back” Jamie said abruptly and got up from the table.

“God, look at that ass,” Bob said as she walked away. “She’s so fuckin’ hot and she doesn’t even know it.”

“Excuse me?” Andy asked furiously.

“Why does everyone love Jamie anyway? Don’t get me wrong, she’s an amazing girl, and she’s so nice, but she has all these guys under her spell.”

“I like her because she’s an awesome friend and fun to hang out with. I’ve only known her for like a week, but I feel like we’ve been friends forever.” Nate started, and the conversation moved around the table.

“She’s sexy, and nice, and she actually wants to be my friend, instead of just hook up with me all the time, like all the other girls we meet. She’s like a sweet break from reality” Sisky continued and then it moved to Mike.

“I don’t have a crush on her or anything, but I like her as a friends, she’s easy to get along with.”

Matt paused when it was his turn. “Well, I like her, but I would never want to be in a relationship with her. We’re more just friends.”

It was Bob’s turn next. “I would never be in a relationship with her, I just want to fuck her. She’s so sexy, and really sweet. I bet she looks killer naked. Is she any good in bed?” he asked Andy.

Andy decided to ignore him. “I just think she’s incredible. I could honestly see myself spending the rest of my life with her.”

“But seriously guys. She has you all wrapped around her finger. Look at how she treats you guys. Matt and Bob, you take her in and let her sleep in your bus, she eats your food, all for free. And Nate, you’re such a good friend to her, but she doesn’t give you anything in return.” Nate looked down in shame, though he didn’t feel that way. He thought that Jamie was a good friend to him in return. “And Andy, do you see the way she treats you. It’s so on and off. And have you seen that way she treats her ex-boyfriends? That guy Eric…she doesn’t even talk to him anymore, she’s completely cut him out of her life. Don’t you think she’ll one day do the same thing to you?”

“William,” Mike started…

“Yes, Mike?”

“That was the most profound thing you’ve ever said.”

*****
The table was silent when Jamie returned. “What did I miss?” she asked as she took her seat.

“Nothing” Sisky said and looked down at his juice.

“Ohh-kayyyy” Jamie said and looked around the table. No one would meet her eyes.

The silence was interrupted by a cell phone ringing in William’s pocket. “Hello?” he answered. Everyone at the table could hear her voice practically screaming into the phone. “Yes, I’m okay. I’m eating breakfast at some little diner…Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you…Yes I know the people I’m with…No, I wouldn’t lie to you…Why would I go out with a huge bunch of people I didn’t know…Okay, I’ll talk to you later…love you too, bye.”

“Who was it?” Andy asked.

“Alexis. Sometimes I think she thinks I’m really dumb or something…”